Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Learn Mandarin the Sexy Way

A friend (for some reason, i can't remember who) once commented that if Singapore had local porn production, it would be a money making one.

I don't know what made him see Singapore that way but the Japanese thought of it too (obviously).
AV film that had a scene in our MBS!
Singapore's Speak Mandarin campaign was so unsuccessful that ELB was offered to students where teachers and students resign to fate.

Will learning Mandarin be more successful if it's taught the sexy way by these ladies below?
"Shhh be quiet and sit down."
"Shhh no touching yourself."
I found out about www.sexymandarin.com because i received an email calling for an audition. This is started in Hong Kong and they are looking for Singaporeans to star in it! The pay is SGD 100 for 3 hours of filming, exclusive of make-up and preparation (how pitiful the hourly rate is).

Show some skin, be a Youtube star. 

Damn, the girls are hot. 

I hope if there're any Singaporean girls starring in them, they won't sia suay our little red dot. 
                                        
The requirements to being a teacher on Sexy Mandarin is that you must be 
- fluent in Mandarin and English
- female Chinese talent
- embody personality and is outspoken
- not camera shy
- talkative
- bubbly
- able to have basic ability to teach a language
- fame hungry
- cute and/or sexy
However, if you are not so keen to being captured on film, you may submit a creative and educational photo or SexyVOCAB. A photo competition that gives girls a chance to gain exposure on the website that reportedly has millions of views.

To enter the competition, submit a photo of yourself together with an object of pose that can be described in one word. For example, "pool".
Knowing how self shots are extremely popular, they may be taken that manner (in fact, that makes the photos look more personal and sexy). However, do make sure there's enough light so you do not look dull.

All submissions may appear on the website however there will only be 3 winners. They will win:

Top prize- a feature as a model on Fashion One + 90 minute massage at aFOND spa
2nd prize- 30 minute foot massage at aFOND spa + original SexyMandarin poker cards
3rd prize- a deck of original SexyMandarin poker cards

I'm quite bemused looking at the submissions. Some girls look Singaporean! WE ARE REPRESENTED. A deck of poker cards must make a good prize.


I asked my foreign male friends if they could learn Mandarin the sexy way and if they can even concentrate at all. Most didn't take my question seriously *roll eyes*

The ones who do told me they wouldn't take such a website seriously. What do you think? I thought it's a pretty creative and unconventional way. It's a service, double entendre intended. 

Care for the Windows to your Soul

Advertorial

Whenever my friends see the below ad, they love posting it to Facebook, tagging me with a giggle.
I looked up Christine Ng, the Hong Kong TVB artiste and hoped i would look like that when i am 50.
While wrinkles may be photoshopped to death, videos won't lie.


Ok, i felt obliged to share the cringe worthy Chinese fairy TVC starring Christine Ng's soulful eyes and ample bosom that sends anyone soul searching.

While i can't quite do anything about my breasts, i can with my eyes.

Essilor introduces new lenses that provide the highest front UV blockage and back UV reflection. With the Eye-Sun Protection Factor, it protects eyes from aging and the appearance of cataracts, amongst other vision problems.

Having experienced eating blind, i know how important eyesight is. Never too young to start protection!

Here's me with Crizal UV indoors, away from sun.

and here's me with the same pair of glasses, out in the sun!


Be sure to ask for Crizal UV lenses at any optician. Care for the windows to your soul.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Today, I achieved my first successful Johnny Air Cargo Plus transaction-- and I received my two items straight from the US to Manila. I bought an Incase Neoprene Pro Sleeve from the US Apple Website together with the Apple Earpods.


I received a text from them 3 days ago saying that the total cost of the shipping and handling is 802.54 PHP. Not bad, because it was really fast. Items took 4 business days to be both delivered on their office at San Francisco, and from San Francisco, my package was delivered to Manila after 5 business days. And then after 3 days, I came to get it from their SM Megamall Branch. I have to admit, the process is not really so easy as I have to contact their Manila office every now and then for updates and the process that took so long was the creation of my account. It is my first time to have a package delivered and only thru PhilMUG and GT that I was able to gain courage after so many failed attempts in the past. I tried delivering items from MAC (not Apple, but the cosmetics brand) and I made a fatal error: I did not make the delivery address and billing address the same.

"Unboxed" photo. Still fresh inside the plastic. Lol. Apple's sticky material for the paper invoice really is sticky.


A quick glance at my package before totally opening it :D

Inside the sleeve. The insides are so soft and furry like a teddy bear <3

Fits my tote bag from Korea perfectly :D


I really love the color. This shade of blue is my favorite :)

I'm actually thinking of having several items delivered again like breast pumps, baby stuff or other beauty products that I won't be able to buy in the Philippines. So overall, I'm happy with my first transaction with JAC. I'll give them a 9/10 score :)

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Before I talk about my Belo experience, I want to share my experiences with skincare throughout the years (before I wanted to spend this much, actually).

My Dermatological Background and History

I have been to dozens of dermatological clinics since my Elementary school days. My parents would constantly consult with a dermatologist regarding my Atopic Dermatitis, sometimes commonly called "Skin Asthma". I've toured several doctors in The Medical City and have about 5 doctors give me different creams and telling me to use Physiogel Cream and Dove without scent, only for my condition to go back everytime the weather is changing. So, I just quit treating my skin problems and focused on my face.

When I started high school, I did not get breakouts right away. It actually started when I was 3rd year in high school. I always slept late when I already had an internet connection-- one which was a dial-up and reloadable (I was a college freshman when we had a DSL Line coming from a dial-up connection for almost 3 years). So I would patiently wait for my anime music downloads to finish before I could sleep. Thus, the breakouts.

And so, again, with the help of our Medocare healthcard I was able to consult with Dermatologists around The Medical City together with my Atopic Dermatitis and my facial problems. Normally, the health card would not cover the "aesthetic" consultations like that, but the doctors were kind enough to include it with my skin problems. So for my face, I used several gels to dry up my emerging pimples, toners for my oily skin, and a special soap for my sensitive skin. All formulated by the different Dermatologists I've visited for several years and all meds for skin. My father diligently paid for it and took me to follow-up check-ups. He would often tell me that once, when he was a teenager, he had to battle with pimples and he had no money before so he ended up with craters on his face. He said that he wouldn't want me to experience the same, and as his only daughter he would do his best to keep my skin okay. I am so happy with the support he gave me (though my mom thinks it was too much since I was in high school during that time).

So, my face was as clear as it was until I went to college. It was so much stress with the academics stuff and I have to return to The Medical City again for the same things. Although, during that time I haven't tried doing the facial treatments. 

C and Diamond Peels at Stella Maris

If you refer to this post I made on March 2009, my very good friend Carlos treated me to his favorite derma clinic in Stella Maris, Pasig City. That was actually my FIRST experience for a full-blown facial with treatment. It was his treat and of course, I enjoyed it. I never thought pricking would be that hurtful for me to cry. Although I did not buy the follow-up meds nor came back for a treatment, I thought it was an instant boost to my facial features. (Thanks again, C, for introducing it to me).

Getting Pregnant and Breakouts

On my 19th year of existence in this world, I became pregnant. The first few weeks of pregnancy were bliss-- I had this sort of glow where I didn't have pimples and my skin looks so bright. But, came January 2010 when I started growing pimples on my face one by one. The bad news is, when I went to my usual Dermatologists at TMC, they wouldn't give me the usual meds. Of course, there would be effects to my baby so I only was stuck using the "lower dose" gels. I wouldn't get the usual antibacterial medicine for my large breakouts. During the last few months of my pregnancy, I really had large pimples and scars like there was no tomorrow. I got depressed and I felt so ugly. 

After I gave birth and I was over the breastfeeding, my father died also and so I was stripped of healthcard privileges. I also started using over-the-counter creams like Pond's and Olay. I had to try the Pond's Day and Night cream, but it made my breakouts worse. Olay did the same and so I had to worry more. I came back to school with a not-so-clear face though I boosted my image with a new Digiperm from Beauty Brick and Mr. Shin. For my skin, I simply used St. Ive's Apricot Scrub to at least brighten my skin somehow (and exfoliate it). I even tried using the nose packs and buying other supermarket items.


Going on Facials and Lots of Derma Clinics After Pregnancy

I became more conscious with my looks especially after I got married. Of course, I'd like to keep the interest of my husband with me. So here is a chronicle of all clinics I've been to and a little review of each one (if I remember of course, this was from 2 years ago).

  1. Dermalite- Stella Maris Maybunga, Pasig- as mentioned in a 2009 post, this was the first derma clinic I've tried in my life. After giving birth, it was also the first clinic I run to for my bad breakouts. I had to buy a promo for their Diamond Peel and come back every two weeks. However, I had a problem with their pricking. I got more scars than I wanted, and so they advised me or rather gave me a chemical peel-- Glycolic peel to be exact. When I had that treatment, unfortunately I withdrew my half of the treatments and never came back to their clinic as there were no improvements with my face. :(

  2. Slimmers World- SM Megamall- I was a regular gym member on Slimmers World around late 2010 until early 2011. I worked out together with my husband around 5 months after I gave birth. I had to try their free Diamond Peel. It was fast, without cleaning and all so I did not enjoy it. Although as of 2012, my sister-in-law gave me the rest of her treatments as she was too busy to go at SM Megamall. As of now I haven't claimed my 5 treatments care of Ate Lulu.

  3. Imperial Dermatology, Ortigas Ave.- I checked several forums like PinoyExchange and GT as I was in search of an affordable clinic near my area. After so many reviews I saw online, I gotta try the Spanish Peel of Dr. Mike Chua. What I loved about this clinic is his checkup first and also the discount (as I'm a GirlTalk member). I treated my husband to several visits and Power Peels too. I liked the fact that I could use my credit card for transactions. His meds are also cheaper than the TMC doctors. He also does the pricking and the treatment himself so you can assure yourself that it would not be horrible as regular unexperienced aestheticians would. However, due to the difficult parking at Ortigas, I had to quit going when my skin went A-OK.

  4. Let's Face It- Robinsons Galleria- I was desperate for a facial treatment late 2011 and then I suddenly had the urge to buy a Diamond Peel promo. Unfortunately, I only claimed 2 sessions out of the 3 sessions I already paid. I wasn't happy with the treatment when I changed aestheticians. I also had scars which were not removed before the next treatment. And yes, I did not come back for the 3rd treatment I availed.

  5. SkinStation- Timog Ave., Quezon City- This was the longest and the most number of pesos spent in a clinic. I bought lots of packages here: 6 Diamond Peel plus Hyal C Whitening treatment sessions, 5 Underarm laser hair removal sessions, 6 Underarm whitening treatment sessions, and only recently, 2 years unlimited Underarm laser hair removal (which, I won't be able to use cos I'm currently preggers). My mom also bought lots of treatments and products here. She also had her warts removal done. My husband had massages and facials too. In short, we spent an awful lot of time here. To date, my mom has still 1 Diamond Peel plus Hyal C Whitening facial left. We weren't really solved with the treatments, but still their service is really good.

Finally, the Belo Experience...

Belo Medical Group RX by Dr. Carlo Lozada.
Prescription for a preggy woman like me.
Plain Cleansing and Powerpeel only, to be done 2 times a week
Plus two products TOG (Tincture of Green) Soap
and Pore Minimizer.
I have been always looking at the Belo SM Megamall branch. I was always curious how it would feel to experience their more expensive services. And so as I was, again, browsing the forum GT, I read lots of raves especially with the aesthetician Naz. I had my first appointment last October. My doctor was Dr. Carlo Lozada, and I googled him and he was mentioned to have handsome looks (oh yes, it was indeed true) and nice personality. I of course filled out the patient form before the check-up (the check-up fee is waived when you avail of the treatments, but it is a mandatory step). So after assessing my face and read a short interview, he prescribed what pregnant women could only have. The plain cleansing and Powerpeel. 

My first aesthetician was Yna, she was also nice however I had several bleeding scars as soon as I got out of the clinic (and I never had the cream before leaving compared to the next visit). During my October visit, there was a Powerpeel promo. Price drop from 2800 to 2016 pesos. I enjoyed the discount only once cos when I came back for my November visit (I couldn't do the prescribed every two weeks cos I don't have much moolah) the price came back to the original one. But, I was able to snag a schedule with Naz-- the sought after aesthetician at SM Megamall Atrium branch. She was really chatty and I felt comfortable instantly. She had extracted lotsa things from my face and I did not have bleeding. Her process was really comfy and she did not hurt me as much as others did. It was the best visit ever (so far). 

My face was really (and literally) glowing after the treatment. All the dead skins are gone as I see it. If only I had more money to spare, I would really follow the twice weekly thing. The Tincture of Green soap is really nice (although it hurts the eyes) and the toner really dries up the pimples fast. Just yesterday, she texted me and I gladly scheduled another appointment. She really knows how to get to clients. I would enjoy having another treatment with her this coming December, before I fly to Hong Kong :D And I promise, when I give birth and finished my breastfeeding duties, I would have other treatments and get myself an Obagi set. :)

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Proven to be safe and effective for sensitive skin with its unique validated hypoallergenic rating system, VMV Hypoallergenics is a “must-have” amongst Hollywood celebrities such as Jennifer Garner and Selma Blair. VMV Hypoallergenics offers a wide range of hypoallergenicity-validated products to attend to every need of men, women and children of all ages, from head to toe + cell to surface!

I am conscious about breast cancer and thus i hardly use deodorant (thankfully, i don't have a foul smelling natural odour) nor any anti-perspiration products because i wanted to use stuff as natural as possible. Our skin, after all, is the largest organ.

However, when i heard about VMV Hypoallergenics opening in Ion Orchard (#B3-48), i thought i'd check it out. As natural as i would like to be, i will not be able to defy gravity over time.

Created in 1979 by renowned dermatologist-dermatopathologist, VMV Hypoallergenics has a one-of-a-kind rating system for hypoallergenic. Put simply, this means unparalleled skin safe products.

What caught my eye when i visited the store was its anti-perspirant treatment.
Shaving darkens the underarms, so i've been told. I will always remember Fann Wong's fair armpits.
 That made me get the same IPL treatment at Bella, which Fann was an ambassador for then. It was a worthwhile investment ($2000) as i did not need to shave again. However, if you haven't got the dough to splash, VMV anti-perspirant treatment ($65) is worthwhile to consider if you have been shaving.

It is an active lightening treatment for BOTH men and women's underarm skin discolored by post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation, irritations (from dyes, fragrances and other irritants in some other deodorants or products applied on or near the underarm) or other causes.

If you have an wet patch problem due to perspiration, it also provides powerful wetness protection even for those with excessive sweating or hyperhidrosis. Without irritants, it prevents underarm darkening, rashes, itching, redness, and granulomas (bumps) etc.

Immediately, i asked how breast cancer safe is it? The knowledgeable staff informed me that the ingredients in antiperspirants that are thought to cause cancer are parabens and aluminum-based compounds. VMV contain no parabens. While aluminum salts are widely used in deodorants, VMV antiperspirant uses aluminum chlorophydrate which does not cause allergic reactions.

I'm trying it out.  Just in case i meet a lover with an armpit fetish, i will be ready.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

2013 Wish List!

It has been so long since I wrote about a WISH LIST. If you browse the archives of this blog, I think that was 2007 or so when I first started writing posts about a yearly wish list. It mostly contains superficial things I liked when I was younger (oh, this is mostly material stuff). For example, during that time I was addicted to burning DVDs, I wished for a DVD-RW drive. I also wished for more Korean Drama DVDs as I was also addicted to watching it on my younger days. My wish list past 2009 became more expensive as I started working to earn my own money. I wished for mobile phones and other things that I do not want my parents to purchase for me and I'll buy with my own money.

Anyway, allow me to state this coming year's wish list, which includes lots of "kikay stuff" for a change (for the better, I guess?). Part of next year's New Year's resolution is to become pretty even though I'm having a baby boy (oh yes, I already told myself and convinced myself it's another boy this time).

So, let's start:

1. Curling Iron- this probably was in previous years' wish list, and was fulfilled when I bought a 2-inch curler from an online seller in Sulit a few years back-- but IT WAS TOO BIG for my own good. Plus, I don't have an idea on how to use it. So what I did was to sell it to another person (who probably liked the lower price I gave so I could just dispose it). Now I want to have that Vidal Sassoon brand (VS) I saw in Market! Market! Department store worth 2,800 PHP. Or if I found a cheaper and better alternative in Hong Kong, I'd get it sooner. :)

2. Brush Set- I'm initially thinking of getting a MAC or Bobbi Brown as it had several uber nice reviews online (and on forums) so if it really is cheaper to buy that 12-piece set for personal use in Hong Kong, I'd buy it. If not, I'm thinking of an alternative like Suesh or Sigma, which are probably also available on Hong Kong. Online, the price in PHP if I'll buy it in Multiply is 2,300 PHP (the Suesh one). Not bad.

3. Make up and accessories- Oh yes, it's true. I don't have much makeup in my "kikay kit" except for a BB Cream (Missha), and my MAC Lovelorn Lipstick. I totally threw away all other glosses as I realized I don't have to keep much in the zipped container since I only use one color for all occasions. Oh, I also have that face powder from Max Factor and also another mascara from Max Factor. I had to buy it when I started curling my eyelashes like crazy~ I had this eyelash curling craze since 2011. I did it twice with Let's Face It and Browhaus (super expensive with Browhaus). I liked it, except that on my second try, I had to lose some lashes (chemicals gone wild, I guess). I actually was thinking of getting extensions again like before (I got one sticky lash weaving from Mikaela Bilbao at The Fort before). But yes, I'm preggers and I don't know if it would be fine. So for this number, I will buy all accessories required on my "Beauty list" for my Make up class at MUD Manila.

BEAUTY LIST

I.               General Supplies

  1. Rubbing Alcohol (preferably in a small spray dispenser)
  2. Cetaphil Cleanser (or any facial cleanser of your choice)
  3. Moisturizer (hypoallergenic and non oily)
  4. Toner
  5. Bottle of facial water spray
  6. Non-oily eye make up remover
  7. Eye gel
  8. Eye cream
  9. Cherry chapstick
  10. lip balm
  11. eye drops
  12. cotton tips
  13. cotton balls
  14. cape or cover cloth
  15. tissue
  16. paper towels
  17. table towel or non-slip placemat
  18. cosmetic pencil sharpener
  19. small embroidery scissors
  20. tweezers
  21. disposable plastic mini shaver
  22. lash curler
  23. headbands/clips
  24. palette knife
  25. mixing palette
  26. breath spray
  27. lash adhesive
  28. sponges : wedge, circular, ellipse, sea sponge
  29. small plastic bowl
  30. cup/glass to use as brush stand
  31. lashes
  32. brush cleaner
  33. shot glass
  34. disposable applicators for mascara & lips
  35. roux stick
  36. color wheel
  37. smallest jar of petroleum jelly
  38. liquid band aid (if available)
  39. hand sanitizer
  40. Personal hygiene items (toothbrush, deodorant, etc.)
  41. First Aid Kit


II.             Brushes

Powder brush
Blush brush
Angle blush
Concealer brush
Eye shadow fluff brush
Eye shadow crease brush
Eye liner brush
Eyebrow comb/spooly
Eyebrow brush
Lip brush

III.           Make Up

1.        Foundation(colors should cover anyone who sits in your chair)
2.        Blush : peachy/pink ; soft beige ; pink ; mauve
3.        Eye Shadows: nude, taupe, black, light brown, dark brown, burgundy, off white, pinks, bronze/copper colors, etc…
4.        Eyebrow pencils or cake type eyebrow palette
5.        Eye Pencils: dark brown, black, taupe
6.        Eye liner: cake, liquid, cream : medium brown, dark brown, black
7.        Translucent powder in a neutral tone or No-color powder
8.        Concealer palette or wheel
9.        Black Mascara
10.     Lipsticks & Lip Glosses

That would probably be ALL. :)) I will prepare the budget for next year and make sure I work everyday from now to achieve the money :))

Friday, November 16, 2012

I actually miss writing blog posts. Since I already have finished college and currently in my "gestational period", I spend my time staying at home and doing whatever I please. As compared to my previous pregnant self (the reason why most of those emotional posts came about), I can now focus only on my pregnancy because I already achieved most things I wanted.

Today, I'm going to continue this draft of my Mac experience. I remember my 20-year old self saying "Oh, I'll never get into that Apple Bandwagon!"~ which now, I really take back. Obviously, my immediate family (the Garcias aka my in-laws) became Apple users probably 2 or 3 years ago with their mobile phones and iPads (the first generation ones). I was also kind of intrigued with it, coupled with Globe's online iPhone 4S promo with BPI Credit Card. And yes, come 2012 I purchased my first Apple item ever-- my now 8-month old iPhone 4S. I never made any posts about it until now. I loved it and I enjoyed every single thing about how I use it. My husband had his phone next, a gift from my mother-in-law. We loved iMessaging together with the rest of our immediate family members. Yes, everyone uses an iPhone.

I had the decision to buy a new PC eons ago when I sold my Sony VAIO Netbook several months back. I even sold my BlackBerry 9300 3G and Nokia N900 mobile phones in order to add to the pot. I was thinking of replacing my now 4-year old Acer TravelMate. What I loved about my Windows PC was the sentimental value and the apps I use there. I installed it with a Windows 8 Consumer Preview OS, and I loved the super fast speed when booting up. It used to be run by a Vista Home Premium Windows OS, but I was successful with the dual boot feature I recently enjoyed. I saved up enough money for a decent and powerful Windows device. 

I was hell-bent in purchasing an ASUS Ultrabook (which, by the way was Hot Pink in color) or a Samsung Ultrabook Series 7 (which my father-in-law has). I was desperate for a PINK computer, for I was attached to the idea that it's so catchy and "girly" like my previous VAIO Netbook. Much to my dismay, I cannot find a pink-colored Ultrabook aside from the ASUS one which I heard wasn't so available. I also wanted a matte-finish screen (that specification made me want a Samsung). Windows 8 came to the market, I found new hot hybrid PCs, but nothing suited the color I want, plus the matte-screen.

I found several websites helpful with my quest to the perfect Mac. I initially wanted the same Macbook Pro as Karl or the lightweight Macbook Air (since I'm currently preggers and I travel often, I wanted a light one as well). I wasn't convinced with the speed of the Macbook Air though, but then I thought it was the best choice for the specs I want:

1. Lightweight
2. Thin
3. No optical drive (I don't use DVDs anymore!)

But, it wasn't PINK and it has a glossy finish. I was taken aback. Should I spend thousands of pesos when it's not worth it? So I tried to stop myself from purchasing nor searching the net cos I'll have ideas again. However, after going back to PhilMUG-- a popular forum about Apple stuff, seeing my friend Karl's Macbook Pro when I visited him in Davao and just talking to my Japanese students about gadgets, I was convinced: I'm getting a Mac soon.

Alas, the new Mac items came into being about late 2012 (or the 4th quarter), which included the much awaited iPhone 5, iPad Mini, and the iPod Touch latest generation (this I don't know). And yes, that's the time where I saw the notebook I wanted: this Macbook Pro 13 inch with Retina Display. I looked at the Apple Store in PH, and wow. It's a whopping 82,990 PHP. I know I have that money, but it's way too much. The ASUS PC I wanted was about 73,000 PHP. So I got an idea of buying the Macbook on my trip to Hong Kong because it's way cheaper in Hong Kong Apple Store.

Not until PhilMUG forumers commented on my post, and told me that it's not worth it to get it from a foreign country--given the thing about customs, warranty, and so on. They suggested I contact a forumer named Charlie. He is just the owner of a popular premium reseller Beyond the Box (Digital Hub in some places). So I emailed him as advised by PhilMUGers, and voila. I got a discounted price amounting to 73,800 PHP (for a cash purchase). Not bad. Just about the money I wanted to spend on a Windows PC.

Next thing was getting my moolah from my bank and going to their Robinsons Branch. And on the fated day of November 5, 2012, I bought my very first Mac. :)




I really knew it's worth the wait (though I know Apple will come up again with a cheaper and more advanced version a few months from now) for me to realize the awesomeness of Mac. I am certainly now a fan. I will miss using Windows too, but I still have lots of opportunities to access it given that in our house there are 3 Windows laptops and 1 desktop PC. I did not regret spending for this. Probably, my first and last splurge for this phase in my life (before I go and spend all my money for my beloved kids and family). It's useful for my online job and I am now a happy user. Nothing beats happiness and fulfilment.

Happy Birthday to Me.

Exactly 16 days before my birthday, i met Elyse (www.purposelyinlove.com). Having gone through a turbulent childhood and many failed relationships, Elyse is now healed whole and enjoying a happy marriage for the last 10 years. All because she has self-love.

Self-love, it's something i if not everyone, struggle with.

I was defensive when Elyse asked if i was happy, confident and positive. I think, or rather, thought i am!

Not being personal friends, Elyse was tough in grilling me about my life and harsh in her words. She gave me a much needed reality check.

Why have my relationships failed? I looked down and mumbled "just didn't happen loh." She asked if i knew what i want. I retorted, "of course!"

"What do you want?" I rattled off some qualities, got frustrated with her interrogation and said," Aiya! I don't make a list. I've never made a list because making a list means Mr. Perfect and that don't exists!" Besides...when chemistry hits, we're often blinded?

Oh-o...wrong answer. Elyse frowned and her lips pursed in an almost angry pout.

"Why do you not make a list? Why do you short change yourself and tell yourself you won't find a perfect man?" She tapped her fingers on the table repeatedly.

I recoiled in my seat, i felt small and i felt tears welling up. She was right.

There are certain things i need to change in my life, and what better time to do when i turn 17, in dog years.

I remember me and my bestie doodled on a A&W tray paper what we envision our love life to be. She drew a condo, a man, a baby and a Mercedes. I drew a beach, a man & a heart shaped with candles.

Today, she has a condo, a man, a baby and a Ford.

Making a list is not about the 5Cs(unless that's what you want). Making a list is a commitment to yourself to look out and recognize the qualities you want in a partner.

In fact, i resisted making that list until 2 weeks after because it was a challenge on my belief system.

But i have, and that list shall remain private.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

In shopping district, Spiegel in Amsterdam, it wasn't enough to just browse windows. Much damage was done to my wallet but O' how satisfied I am. Scoring a suede pig leather jacket in a pretty pastel green for 100 euros, I am guilt free.

A few canals across, it's a different kind of window shopping. It's a male shopping district.

In Amsterdam, one knows no shame. I unabashedly asked strangers, male and female, where the Red Light District is. Unlike how we immaturely tease each other with Geylang, the Dutch didn't bat an eyelid.
Oblivious to the staunch looking Ang Mohs behind, i am eating in the train!
In my last post, i mentioned i was going to do a prostitute workshop. It was honestly, an attempt to leave some kind of clue where i was and what I'm doing in case i don't return.

Excited at finding an off-the-beaten-track activity, i emailed PIC without hesitation and made a booking. After making a booking, i then remembered to sound out my Dutch friends if they heard about it before. They hadn't.

So i got worried. I worry if this was a trap to traffic girls. What did i just do?!? I just emailed a potential criminal about my arrival and I'm going to land right at their door step!  I contemplated canceling but i tried postponing it to my second day of arrival instead (trying to throw them off guard, and do a scout on my first day of arrival instead). Alas, Marisska replied saying she only has TWO Saturdays free in a year and she can't do it on my second day of arrival. TOTALLY SUSPICIOUS!!

Who has only TWO free Saturdays in a year? I got jittery, but decided to still JUST DO IT.

Which ironically, Nike got their tag line from someone's last words before EXECUTION!

So i set off looking for Enge Kersteeg 3 for my 9.30pm workshop on a Friday.
Very unglam with the umbrella.
I was expecting one main street where illuminated windows will flock left and right but no, there is no one street but it's in corners here and there. Where I least expected it, I'll see the alluring red glow.
The Red Light District in Amsterdam has been around since the 14th century. The oldest workers in the window are a pair of  70 year old twins.
1 has recently retired due to arthritis (can't do some sex positions anymore). I didn't meet them, but i did meet Marisska, former sex worker of the infamous Red Light District in the Prostitute Info Center which turns out to be legit (phew).

I almost gave up looking. If finding Tokyo's roads were difficult, try Amsterdam. After 5 days, i still couldn't get the route back home right.

After an hour of relentlessly and shamelessly asking passer-bys, i finally found PIC and was even 15 minutes early for my scheduled workshop!
In that hour, i could ask Marisska, former sex worker, ANYTHING i wanted. She is very warm and amiable, i instantly took a liking towards her.
How does the Red Light District work?
Unlike other prostitutes found in developing countries, who are a result of abuse, trafficking or low education, the sex workers in Amsterdam mainly do it as a choice. They have no boss (no pimps), start and end any time they want (sounded like the perfect job!).
The sex workers rent the windows from landlords. Halfway through my workshop, Marisska's old landlord (a very old woman) walked in with her bulldog to say hello and have a laugh or two about old times. In Singapore, one would think twice about owning a property in Joo Chiat or Geylang, but in Amsterdam, landlords own a couple of windows and get rich renting them out. 
For 60 euros in the day (12-8pm) to as much as 180 euros for the evening (8-4am), the girls get a window equivalent to a cell. 
Day shift: You see the leg behind a window on the bottom right corner?
In this basic window, you see a chair with a towel and a heater. When there is a client/ action, curtains will be drawn.
A little bit more luxurious, some have a sink to wash up and a ratty looking bed.

Photographs are Not Allowed
because many of the girls have a day job and do not want to be recognized. You may retort, "there's no fool-proof plan because your colleague, school-mate, friend or family may walk past". Marisska insists the girl behind the window will spot a familiar face from afar and draw the curtains before they can even say "i know you!" She was right, as i experienced standing behind the window myself later.

I did not see one tourist whip out their camera, but defiant me found ways to sneak a picture or two. By posing by an abandoned mattress (presumably thrown out from one of the windows).  
Check out the girls in windows behind.
The mattress was SURPRISINGLY HARD, almost wooden.
However, if the girls spot you taking a picture, they will not hesitate to hurl vulgarities at you and if within reach, they may even get nasty.
I thought they would not notice me, with that construction in between us. I snuck my camera inconspicuously (or so i thought) in between the gaps but as soon as i snapped, the girl from the extreme left window opened her door, shouted across the street and flipped her middle finger. SHE WAS FIERCE.
That was the last picture i took of the red light district. Kiasee already (scared of death).

Why do Sex Workers do it?
Marisska did it because she had no money for a dog at 16. She earned enough and she did buy a dog that same day (could even afford 2) but continued doing it because she thought it was pretty easy money and she didn't feel it was shameful.

She did enjoy the sex and repeatedly say she CHOOSES who she wants to sleep with. For a very warped reason, some sex workers believe providing sexual service to men is some form of empowerment and liberation. Women can have sex all day long and men cannot. Using that to their advantage, they earn thousands of dollars from men who typically can't say no (they risk their relationship, their marriage, their freedom (jail) for sex) and who to this day earn 30% more than women for doing the same work (in the normal sense). Back in the 80s, the prime time of the industry, a girl can earn as much as 20K euros a month (SGD 36K).
Marrisska answers my questions as i warm up behind the window.
What are the Charges?
They never do without a condom and it costs 50 euros for a 15 minute session. It could be oral sex, intercourse or a bit of both. They use an iPod as a time keeper. When you hear the crescendo? You ought to climax too.
Marrisska also writes books and columns.
Special services and requests other than the norm is usually done at private houses and not in the windows. Windows are meant to be inexpensive quickies. While there may be a little competition amongst the girls, they generally look out for each other (against violent men) and they chat with each other to pass time.

There are less hot girls in the alleys of Amsterdam now (especially with the government trying to clean it up). Instead they are filled with African big girls, coined the Big Mama alley. I have however, seen 5 hotter younger Caucasian girls (one of whom is the one who hurled vulgarities at me). I saw 2 who had a unique selling point (one wore spectacles (school girl/teacher fetish?) and one was in a cat woman suit (dominatrix?)) I saw one balding scrawny Caucasian man behind a window with a rainbow flag (gay) and i was told the windows with blue lights are transsexuals or any other homo sapiens (but i didn't see any blue lights).
Fact finding till Marrisska asked if i was a hard nosed journalist in disguise :P
Standing Behind a Window
It was 8 degrees. I didn't hesitate to strip to my bikini although it felt really strange to not be at a beach in a bikini. "Heels make a woman feel sexier", Marrisska lent me hers. She sized me up and down in my bikini and gave a nod of approval. I was a good student, i followed her email instructions and brought something white which worked beautifully in the UV lights. I stepped up to the big cushioned arm chair in chunky heels, crossed my legs and folded my arms across my chest. It was a defensive move, i felt naked.
The crowd is just warming up.

I don't know how much time have passed but after all the interrogation, i was ready to stand up and expose my tummy. Marisska hid from the street view so that men would approach my window. And they did!!!
Still feeling very uncomfortable, my body is taking the defensive stance.
Marisska then started pointing out how to choose my clients. She asked me to observe and compare men who walked past with their girlfriends (the man walks more relaxed, oblivious to the girls behind the windows) to men who walked past with their mates (brazen and cocky) to men who walked past alone (curious, more polite and genuine).
Trio approaching.
With my arms crossed, I'm not going to attract men. I awkwardly placed my arm on my hips, i thought this is what mannequins do.
Oh, and i sucked in too.
Then, i got competitive. I knew on my left and right, it's the fat mamas who were standing behind the windows in itsy bitsy neon lingerie. I can't lose to them. Me, supposedly an exotic wanton on that street. It must be because i had no tits, i didn't have anyone knocking on my window.

As if on cue, Marisska asked me to separate my bikini to show more cleavage.
She asked me to loosen up and smile. She said i looked too stern.
She asked me to sway my hips to the music and caress myself. 
I tried.
Limp attempt.
She asked me to run my fingers through my hair.
I mechanically followed her instructions but still felt very uncomfortable. Talking to Marisska soothed my fears, I asked her for sex tips (if a condom breaks, drink alot of water and pee it out - really works meh?) , and i asked what was the strangest request (she had to wear diapers and pretend to be a baby. Her client got very turned on when she pees in her diaper). In brief moments of bravery, i looked up to see men in front of my window.
Marisska has experienced enough to generalize races. There are certain races ( i won't mention) that she refuses to work with. She prefers Asians but they usually have very small appendages but alot of hair that she has to rummage through the bush to find it. In my hour, i had 2 groups of 3 men in their 20-30s, utterly dick-heads who waved their 100 euro in my face, darting their tongue in between their fingers shaped in a V and banging on the window ( i hope it's bullet proof!) .

From a mile away, Marisska could already spot trouble. As they approached, she reminded me to not have any eye contact. There is however, a panic button in every window. The landlord or the police will come when pressed. I didn't have eye contact with many men that night.

Then, there were the ones (white haired men in their 40s) who had a kinder expression and they were the ones that Marisska said if i had wanted to, i could open a crack (not ass), negotiate, let them in and draw the curtains. I had a couple of men politely knocking on my window but i would smile and shake my head. Some persisted but soon accepted no as an answer. I actually felt bad for cheating their feelings. Standing behind a window, enticing them but actually not open for business.

When she was still working (she retired from the sex trade after 6 years, knowing she can't lead this life forever), she never kisses her clients as she keeps that for real lovers. There is a code of "honour" amongst the workers to not orgasm but she found that hard to do because it's a woman's natural body reaction. Not many of her boyfriends could accept her job. They would at first but soon turn jealous. She could however, separate emotions from sex and genuinely believed sex with prostitutes were merely transactional. 

Today, Marisska is divorced with a teenage daughter. She married an Indonesian Malawi man who lived in Amsterdam. Ironically, they divorced because her husband visited prostitutes which she accepted in the beginning (understanding it's merely transactional) but couldn't later. She has an estranged relationship with her parents and believes they blame themselves for not giving her money for the puppy. Despite Marisska advocating the sex trade and her choice of career, if her daughter ever follows her path, she would be heart broken. However, Marisska gave a weak smile and said her daughter is a total opposite of herself. "She is a strong headed girl who values her body very much." I saw love and hope in Marisska's eyes. 

I could tell the age on her face and the beaten soul within. Since quitting the trade, Marisska has become more romantic and her fantasy (she still has them despite doing everything imaginable with clients) is to have outdoor sex. In the woods, on the beach or in the water.

There is life after Sex
There's always the stereotype that after being an air stewardess, you can't find another job prospect. Life after a sex worker could be caring for the old or any job dealing with people as the ex sex worker will be well versed with reading body language.

Whilst it may seem like the people on the street are watching the circus behind the window, the sex workers thinks its a circus out on the street instead. They have enough self respect to ask a smelly man to go away, or expects a man to have the basic respect to shower before coming to get laid. 

It was pretty exhilarating standing behind the window. I had a very enjoyable time chatting with Marrisska. I admire her bravery to step out, tell the world she is an ex sex worker and even turned it into HER life after sex.

It dawned upon me that despite how advanced society has become, how women fought fiercely for equal rights, we will never win the gender war. I shudder at the thought of my man visiting a prostitute, and I'm disappointed at the very primal instincts of men. It is always a perception that sex workers take ANY men who comes, but how gravely prejudiced we are.

Suddenly, i felt cold. My hour was up. So i put on my clothes, paid 35 euros and gave Marisska a big hug. I walked out enlightened, a different person.