You're an Animal!

When someone uses that exclamation? It's not too far from the truth.

From Wikipedia:

Animal sexual behaviour takes many different forms, even within the same species. 

Researchers have observed monogamy (faithful humans) , promiscuity (unfaithful humans), sex between species (beastiality), sexual arousal from objects or places (adult toys), sex apparently via duress or coercion, copulation with dead animals ( necrophilia, human's desire to have sex with the dead), homosexual (humans do) , heterosexual and bisexual (humans do too) sexual behaviour, and situational sexual behaviour (people might not have sex with prostitutes in their home countries, but may do so when they visit other countries) and a range of other practices among animals other than humans.

Related studies have noted diversity in sexed bodies and gendered behaviour, such as intersex and transgender animals.

The study of animal sexuality (and primate sexuality especially) is a rapidly developing field. It used to be believed that only humans and a handful of other species performed sexual acts other than for procreation, and that animals' sexuality was instinctive and a simple response to the "right" stimulation (sight, scent).

Current understanding is that many species that were formerly believed monogamous have now been proven to be promiscuous or opportunistic in nature; a wide range of species appear both to masturbate and to use objects as tools to help them do so ( I KNEW MY HAMSTER WAS MASTURBATING WHEN I SAW IT RUBBING THE CORNER OF THE WALL); in many species animals try to give and get sexual stimulation with others where procreation is not the aim; and homosexual behaviour has now been observed among 1,500 species and in 500 of those it is well documented.

On that last note....here's a video of a monkey forcing a bullfrog to go deep throat.

Have a sexy non-disturbing weekend!

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MRT Diary 1.3

25 March 2011

I never had a thing for men with long hair but this one with a warm shade of brown hair that tickled his shirt collar caught my eye on the train. It is wavy and smartly sleeked back with gel. He reminds me of an Italian mafia, one that is not balding. He isn't particularly good looking, but just another Caucasian expat in his 40s.

A pressed white shirt with a stiff collar, grey linen pants with polished leather shoes, the entire package certainly packs an oomph. His watch wasn't a show-off Panerai or Patek Philippe but instead a delicate thin one with a certain old charm was strapped to his wrist. 

Just when he couldn't impress me any further with his image, he pulled out his thick chunky.............

pen.

It was black like a Mont Blanc, but what made it stand out were the gold engraved dragons that wrapped round its body. In reality, i wouldn't marry a bad boy but in fantasy, the 古惑仔, the sicilian mafia or the yakuza do set some passions running high. There's something about self righteousness that is a turn on.

Oh, i would even overlook the extremely hairy arms this man on the train has.

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Tastes Like Chicken!

We're always excited at the thought of these exotic meats, only to be disappointed in the real taste because it's JUST LIKE CHICKEN.


We've always thought China is famous for its odd food,

little did i know that the infamous Wangfujing street in Beijing is just a show-and-tell for tourists. The locals would never find these exotic snacks in their mouth, and these vendors all speak English (where is the authenticity of the experience?) and hygiene standards are very low.


Did a search and lo and behold, it isn't just the Asians who are sick in their food choices. Being Asian, pig's blood cake, intestines etc don't make me bat an eyelid. Dogs, bats, monkey brains..i've heard them all. There are even Singaporean celebrities who eat human placenta for vanity purposes! They mince it and cook it with porridge. I picked a few that made my eyebrows raise.

She reminds me of a baby hamster like this

Oh, yes i know it's sick. I don't know if it's doctored, but it's found under "Disgusting Food". I have to show that my blog is not JUST about sex, ya know. I make you SICK in the stomach too.

Here's what the rest of the world eat: 

Monkey Toes (Indonesia)	Deep fried monkey toes, eat it off the bone.
Squirrel Brain (US South)	Yes, the brain of the small tree climbing rodent. You cook the head with the rest of the body (after cleaning of course), then, using your fingers and a fork, you crack the skull open and dig the brain out. Tastes kind of like mushrooms to me.
Calf's Head (France)	Tete de veau (Calf's Head). A delicacy in France. A British relative living in France raved about it so I ordered it in a restaurant. I was green until the waiter took it away. Basically, the fleshy bits of a calf's head, cooked for a long time and cut into squares, each consisting of a few strings of slimy meat and a 1cm thick layer of fat/gelatinous glop. The brain is served in the corner of the plate.
Brains(France)	When I was a kid, the med student couple upstairs used to make brains. First year, took it to the department picnic, everyone ate it, asked what it was, they didn't say. Second year, ditto. Third year they figured what the heck, told folks they'd been eating sauteed brains in bread crumbs for two years already. No one ate a bite.
Cibreo(Italy)	Cock's combs (the wattly stuff on a rooster's head): A classic Tuscan dish.
Stewed Dormice (Slovenia)	A Slovenian cookbook had a recipe for a nice little stew of mice raised and fattened just for cooking.
Goat's Head (Africa)	Customs inspectors have lots of amazing stories, since visitors often attempt to hide contraband foodstuffs in their luggage. At San Francisco International Airport, a businessman's valise was found to contain a partially decomposed goat's head, crawling with maggots. He was quite indignant when it was confiscated--that was his lunch!
Camel's Feet  (France)	It's not really fair to include this as French, but my favorite recipe from the Larousse Gastronomique is Pieds de chameau a la vinaigrette (camel's feet.) It begins "Soak the feet of a young camel... " You'll find it just before the recipe for camel's hump.
Tacos sesos (Mexico)	Tacos made with cow brains. A friend of mine told me the local Mexicans in central California would slaughter his cows at no charge if they were allowed to keep the heads.
Haggis (Scotland)	Sheep's stomach, stuffed with oatmeal and steamed. A more accurate definition would be: "a highly spiced sausage made from offal meats with oatmeal filler, traditionally in a casing made from a sheep's stomach." Haggis is accompanied by chappit neeps and tatties (mashed turnip (swede, rutabaga..) and potatoes).
Seal Flipper Pie (Canada)	Newfoundland Cuisine Catching On: ST. JOHN'S, Nfld. (CP) Move over brie and quiche. Bring on the bang belly and damper dogs. And leave room for seal flipper pie. Newfoundland cuisine has come into its own. Once restricted to the kitchens of the island's outport folk, food like brewis and figged duff is finding its way to Toronto or any big centre in Canada where transplanted Newfoundlanders are found. The only thing that might be tricky to obtain nowadays is seal flipper pie. With the collapse of the seal hunt due to lobbying by environmentalists, there are fewer flippers to be had, but independent sealers still steam into St. John's Harbor every spring and sell flippers off the wharf. In April, community clubs all over the city hold flipper pie dinners. The flippers are tender and tasty but it's said few mainlanders acquire a taste for them.

 What still takes the cake in all these exotic meats is this:

Oh wait, my blog is not all about sex isn't it? Bah, who cares. You love reading it anyway.

That's cooked KANGAROO balls. Look like poop to me.

There is an annual World Testicle Cooking Championship found in Serbian— as teams of chefs cook up bull, boar, camel, ostrich and even kangaroo testicles. This is an article found under Mother Nature Network, Healthy Eating. 

"This festival is all about fun, food and bravery," said Ljubomir Erovic, the Serbian chef and testicles gourmand specialist who organizes the bizarre cooking festival.

The food — politely called "white kidneys" in Serbian — is believed to be rich in testosterone. In the Balkans, it is considered to help men's libido.

"The bulls' testicles are the best, goulash style," said last year's winner Zoltan Levai, stirring a metal pot heated by a wood fire and filled with vegetables and large testicles that he said were provided from a state-run slaughter house.

The festival — which includes dishes like testicle pizza and testicles in bechamel sauce flavored with a variety of herbs found in the region.

"I came here last year, and decided to come back," said Anna Wexler, an Israeli citizen originally from New York who's now a member of the festival's jury. "It was delicious. There was testicle moussaka, goulash, stallion, boar, bull and many other things."

So i asked my best friend (Google) and found the nearest place to eat testicles (other than China, don't trust China) is Japan.

Asadachi, pigs testicles sashimi in Tokyo.

Knowing how you can't trust what is found on the internet, i happened to meet a Japanese lady and i asked her if such a dish exists.

Then i had to break the silence & ask why does she eat pig's testicles. She giggle and say 'Good for night time activity!' Kawaii..11:57 PM Mar 11th via Twitter for iPhone

Chrispytine

Christine Ng

The next time you're in Tokyo, pop by for some pig testicle sashimi!

Address 

1-2-11 Nishi-Shinjuku, Shinjuku-ku, Tokyo

Transport Shinjuku station (Yamanote, Shinjuku lines), west exit; (Marunouchi, Oedo lines), exit B16.

Before you choose pig balls over any other balls, you might want to know that pigs with their oversized balls are known to orgasm for 30 minutes and produce at least 500ml of sperm (that's HALF a litre water bottle). I am not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing (perhaps more value for money?). You get more bang for your buck.

I was talking to my best friend (Google again. I sound like a sad nerd home on a Friday night), and i came to a PETLOVERS FORUM. Guess what i found?

It's a LONG read, but i know you'll sit through it (and maybe squirm a little).

Date: 02:42:56 on Saturday, September 19, 2009
Name: willempie
Subject: Boar sex how to...

Guide to Woman and Boar Sex

I am keenly interested in that kind of fun. I have researched how a male pig (or boar) functions during sex. I have been around mating pigs in my youth. Unfortunately, I don't own any animals at this time as I live in town now. However, I believe I can inform you enough that you can have a highly enjoyable and erotic experience.

First, you should know that a breeding boar, one that is used all the time for sows, is not for you. They become very aggressive and can easily injure you.

You really should think about one of the smaller breeds that normally doesn't go over 250 pounds, or so. You should get a male piglet and hand raise it so that it is your pet. Pigs are smarter than dogs and train easy since they are extremely food oriented.

Second, you really need to enjoy contact -in- your cervix and large amounts of thick semen. A pig's penis is designed to get into the cervix. As he XXXXs, the curly tip turns inside the vagina seeking the cervix. The tip is very slender and made to slide into the cervix. Once the cervical entrance is found the pig's curly tip will "lock" into your cervix and the pig will slow down.

Third, you should enjoy a big, big load. After he locks into your cervix he will begin to cum a lot. Some pigs can pump out almost two cups of cum. At first, the semen is clear and somewhat thin. Then a thicker, milky semen that has most of the sperm comes, a lot comes. Lastly some very thick semen like jelly is slowly pumped inside you......

continued here (no visuals)

Apparently, it's thing is corkscrew like, therefore more "pleasurable".

I KNOW it's sheep. I can read.

So do you really want to eat all these exotic meats? Don't let the curiosity kill the cat.

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Browhaus Experience Review

Yesterday, before attending a wedding, I went to Browhaus Serendra to get my eyebrows cleaned and shaped. I heard they do sorts of unique things with the eyebrow design and so on, but it was obviously overrated. There was no blueprint of eyebrows and all those stuff as said in this blog http://www.100percentkelly.com/2009/07/10/my-browhaus-experience/. So there, I entered, filled up the form and then later sat on the chair and was threaded. They said Browhaus won't hurt you as much, but it was not true. I still cried in this experience, almost the same pain I felt in LayBare's service. There's also plucking and shaving involved so those other process added to the hurt. I'm not an aesthetic critic so I couldn't tell whether the brows I now have are in fact, better. Probably I would post a picture of my brows as a follow-up. 580 Php is quite a high price too (LayBare price is 100), but Browhaus threading seats are good compared to LayBare's beds (you sit in there while being threaded, no back support). I would probably go back next month for maintenance.

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Let the Bullets Fly

Reading the sypnosis, i haven't had a clue what this movie was about. Being a typical yao gui Singaporean, i took the tickets anyway. Boy was i PLEASANTLY SURPRISED and EXTREMELY ENTERTAINED with the movie.

There're some Chinese film titles worth mentioning and this is one of them.

Set in the republic era, i found this to be a Chinese version of the classic Robin Hood tale. Except it has a huge twist and a proud Chinese flavour added to it.

Watching Let the Bullets Fly made me realise a few things:

1) Chow Yun Fat is still King

Ah Fat has come a long way in acting. At times, Li Nanxing reminds me of him. Missing from the scene for a long while, Ah Fat makes a comeback in cinema with an astounding performance. He is older and he is Fat (ter).

2) Stephan Chow's Slapstick Humour is Passe

With excellent writing and dialogue, it made me chuckle at many points.

3) Chinese are good with Cheeky Humour

There need not be nudity nor crude jokes,  still you got the underlying meanings and tastefully done.

4) Lead Actors ALWAYS win the hearts of Female Audiences

He wasn't good looking, neither did he have six pecs. Still, i find myself gravitating towards him. His righteous portrayal was secondary, it was the uniform that had me fantasizing.

5) There's a way to wear a Mustache

The man on the left looks like a dirty old man, the one in the middle looks like a treacherous businessman and the one on the right? A bandit.

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Quarter Review

1) Spent Valentine's under bright lights with 8 men

On a shoot for a television commercial. I love how plain it looks in reality, but on screen, the entire scene looks beautiful. Cinematography, that's what movie magic is all about.

My pretend husband.

2) Discovered Mad for Garlic @ Suntec.

Nice deco, posh enough (but won't break the bank) to take a date. Taking her to this place will hint "no kissing", which makes her let her guard down. Reverse psychology, ha!

The cheesecake is a miss.

It tickled me to see this on the menu. What a name! No hungry ghosts, certainly!

The special drinks are a must get. Can't quite decide if we prefer the wine+sprite combi or the honey citrus+sprite. They're both very good! Skip the pastas, the pizzas are better. 

3) You TwitFace
Ever since i got the iphone, I've been living and breathing social media so much that i am feeling sick. When youtube, facebook and twitter merge? You TwitFace. That's exactly how i feel.

Notebook taking a jab at social media found at The Cathay

4) Had by far THE BEST Italian food in Singapore

Something pinkish, something white. Food porn. 

I'm not much of a cheese lover ( not a fan of REAL cheese, happy with Kraft processed slices), but this parma ham salad with a generous dollop of some fancy cheese bowled me over and my trail of saliva was THIS long (ok, no, you really don't want to see it).  $45 for two (but you can share comfortably with 4 or 5). Everything else is perfect too.

Osvaldo Ristorante Italiano is located at the Maxwell Chambers (next to Tanjong Pagar MRT).

5) Ate a flower

The same Italian restaurant presented us with some dolci to settle our palate and the waitress specifically said the flower was edible.

So i ate.  It tasted like cleanly cut grass, and i looked like a cow.

6) Experienced Banyan Tree, Ungasan.

Just the other day, i met this young boy and we were talking about blogs. Then he told me he reads this girl's blog. 

"Also called christine", he says. 

"Really?" I asked. 

He said, "Yeah. She travels alot and posts her holiday photos." 

"I see."

It's great to get feedback from the community, and i am glad he didn't associate "spoilt rich daddy's girl" with "christine, the blogger."

It's going to be my third trip next weekend and it's only March of 2011. How do i do it? It sounds extravagant, it's not. Live and travel on a shoestring budget.

1) Buy early, buy sale fares

2) Do your research and live as cheaply as $20/day (twin sharing)

3) Maximize your time (friday evening flight out, sunday night flight in)

4) I limit my food court meals daily to $4 (no soft drinks, stay slim and rich)

5) My only extravagance ($500 monthly) is buying expensive clothes (not branded but of style, cut and quality)

7) Sickest film Watched

I have to admit, i do have a sick mind (most of the time) and i can stomach all the nastiest gore. But R-rated Daniel and Ana which was an art house film showing at Cathay recently actually made me squirm in my seat, ALOT.

It documented a real social issue that happens in Mexico and North America, the kidnap of siblings for clandestine pornography. Incest pornography is largely banned in most countries, but still it exists because there is a demand. 

I squirmed alot because although they were actors, i believed them to be siblings and when they start having sex (at gun point), it made me VERY uncomfortable because I DO live with two brothers.

8) Made some new F.R.I.E.N.D.S, met some old

9) Stripped in Public

Checking the price tag out

Generously invited by HTC (Fast queue access, appreciated!) to the much coveted event : Cleo Bachelor 2011. Entering Zouk, we were cajoled by the A/X promoters to snap a picture with their watches for a contest. So we did. Later when they called me to go to the promotion booth, i thought i've won it! Later did i know, i was "picked" to go up on stage to strip.

Not abashed to pick the most good looking one, he happened to be also the shortest. That made stripping him easy as i didn't need much effort (don't have to tip toe) to pull and tug the tees off. 

The quick wrist work (don't think dirty!) won me an A/X watch. Read a detailed account of the event over at my friend Estelle's blog.

10) The stillborn of my rabbit went down the rubbish chute

Didn't know my bunny was pregnant, didn't even know they mated (they are kept in separate cages). Surprised to see a fetus buried under the sawdust. Threw the "thing" down the rubbish chute, we were just being practical and not flush it down the toilet.

Don't waste money buying a rabbit leash. You don't walk it, it walks you.

11) Human Stories 

Lastly, heard so many human stories in this first quarter that i relish the fact that friends like confiding in me. Your secrets are safe with me because i've a memory of a gold fish.  Besides, it has always been an unfulfilled ambition to be a therapist (the rapist). So bare your soul to me.

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Publishing Here Again

I once told myself I won't be opening my Friendster account not unless I want to find a photo or a lost contact, but here I am again for my blog. The layout of this blog is my favorite, and it's so rare that you cannot buy it anymore in the net (I've tried). I also found a download of the template Oceanwide but it didn't work on my Blogger or WordPress blog so okay, I simply quit trying.

I was inspired to write again about March. Last year, I was writing on the same month about my upcoming "labor" with my son Jethro. After a year, I could probably write about how extremely adorable he has been from the annoying kicker inside my body. Anyway, me and my husband have been really happy to play with him although most of the time we get kicked or plunged into and get sorts of bruises, if not bleeding body parts while taking care of him. We do tolerate some of those baby behaviors he's been showing since we all say they're cute and innocent (babies). Although sometimes, it's just too hurtful we tend to say "No-no" and shake our heads together with him. It's amazing how he understands (but still forcefully does what he wants sometimes) that concept. 9-month olds are really interesting.

Since it's almost our vacation, we've been hanging out with Jethro more often in the daytime. He, unfortunately is so attached with his Lola Ana (my mom) and oftentimes calls her "Mama" (which is so sweet yet annoying to both me and my mom). Well, sometimes Jethro calls me "Mama", most likely when I have a mobile phone or laptop beside me. He is really intrigued with electronic gadgets that the only way he stops whining when his Lola is gone is through a gadget.

We'll be dealing with him in the next few more weeks so I just hope my stuff will be fine by April.

I just wish he learns how to properly call me and my mom.

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人生 の意味と目的は 何ですか

Saturday was very Japanese. It started with lunch at Akashi in Paragon.

I love sitting at the sushi bar, in front of chef Kaiser. He patiently answers our my random questions, he entertains us by pulling out raw exotic eats, he whets our appetite and see to our needs.

The first time i encountered these endamame (salt boiled peas), was with my friend's family when i was 15. I was very sua ku (ignorant) then, and i didn't know what they were, needless to say how to eat it. Being the guest, the family politely pushed the bowl towards me and gestured for me to try it first. I politely took one as they all stared at me wide eyed with toothy grins. I held the pea close to my mouth, paused for a second (thinking how am i supposed to eat this?), squeezed my eyes shut and pop the WHOLE endamame into my mouth. Shell, skin, everything. IT WAS TOUGH. No one said anything, and i struggled to chew but i eventually swallowed.

Still, no one said anything. I smiled weakly and said it was "nice". That gave the cue for the family to join in. My friend's sister took one and started squeezing out the peas within and only eating those things INSIDE!

I was horrified. No one said a thing. I elbowed my friend and asked why she didn't tell me so! She said it was also her first time eating >_<

I had the codfish sperm as well as tuna eyeball here in the heart of Orchard too. Adding on to the exotic eats list is baby Unagi. An Unagi is a live freshwater eel.

What we had was JUST-HATCHED eels. The moment these babies breathe, in my mouth they go.

Where Kaiser is pointing is it's head, the black dot is its eye.

It looks like kway tiao (flat rice noodles). You don't really chew, you pretty much swallow. I like how it feels on my tongue. It is smooth and it glides around. Strangely enough, as i am writing this, i feel a tingle. Just like how my friend described eating it, he asked "don't you somehow feel orgasmic eating this?" Weird i know, but mum always say not to play with food. This is one food we wanted to play with our mouths. As we bit into its tiny head, it bursts and a tiny bit of tasteless liquid fills our mouth.

This is my FAVOURITE dish. I usually balk at raw eggs, i cannot imagine body builders drinking a concoction of 5 raw eggs. The head chef sliced us some very fresh squid in strips and gave us a dip that is of soya sauce, some peices of Uni (sea urchin) and a raw egg yolk (stir it up)! You eat it like you would dip soba in cold sauce, it was DELICIOUS!

When Singaporeans think of sashimi and sushi, they think of Salmon. I had the raw beef sushi. It was marbled, and it melted in my mouth.

Then came the dish which was the reason for this adventure. More sperm.

Pufferfish sperm is in season!

That's uncooked sperm. The fish is naturally wet, so not much foreplay was needed.

They boil it a little before serving it to our table.

I actually quite like it. It tastes better than cod fish sperm (which smelt, was very thick and toufu-like). I didn't even know what i popped into my mouth, i thought it was some tasty chicken! It was meaty indeed, i hope i got some protein out of it.

Then i invited two of my best friends to Memoris of a Geisha at Orchard Scotts Residence

 They had a sperm whale of a time.

 All things Japanese.

 Vernise, the hostess is a stickler for decoration. That's why i LOVE her parties.

 My favourite bite sized ice cream! Once you pop, you can't stop. No, actually you can with these because of BRAIN FREEZE.

 Choya, surprisingly tastes real good. My choice of alcohol from now. At least it's healthy, right?

The ever generous hosts. Wil takes his role play VERY SERIOUSLY, like every Japanese. His partner dutifully role played the French maid, cleaning up after him & dusting him after (maybe). Nice match!

The sushi chef whipped up an absolutely ooishi pancake packed with lots of liao (ham, cabbage, squid).

His "ang moh" apprentice helped out.

Fatty pork that dissolves in my mouth and reappears on the hips.

It's not Japanese if there isn't any mischief!

 Good food, good beer.

 Even some rock and roe.

 Legs, legs, legs.

 Then the drinking begins.

 I was the official beer girl.

 They drank,

 and drank,

and drank.

Yes, i was the beer pot.

short and stout.

They like to 干杯 me too.

Being interviewed.

Thinking froth.

 Good company, beautiful people.

It was a donation drive too. To Red Cross for its relief efforts in Japan. We raised some $7000, thanks to Sushi chef's company doubling what was collected at this party.

 They make a very kawaii couple.

That's a real Japanese in between us. A very drunk and frisky one too. Such are usually the life of parties.

School girls, maids, sailors and a Harajuku babe.

We left at midnight only to find this in the lift and cam whored further! Room service anyone?

Hopped to Newton for something non Japanese.

The best non alchohol (for me) party in a long time coming!
Party pictures by Lennard Chan and others.

あめふってじかたまる, 雨降って地固まる.

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