I usually write in Multiply about this person. Especially when Summer of 2008 was still around and the fleeting happy moments with him are present. Back then, I only had his Friendster account and with that I couldn't even leave a single comment. I used messaging, but then it seemed worthless. He was in love with someone else and so as they thought I was and so we couldn't be together. It's more like a one-sided love by me as always.
I never had been this blatant in talking about my feelings for him. I guess I wouldn't add him up here in Multiply, so I have the courage to speak of him freely (but luckily with only a few clues to pick up). He had been talking cordially with me online, and I got his number before but I couldn't get myself to greet him occasionally. I was afraid. Maybe I'd drive him away if I didn't. And now here I am regretting the chance I should have done this and that. For now, I could only see him online though he wanted to meet up: to catch up and do the same things before.
When I saw him in school before he left for graduation, we had a simple talk. I could really recognize him from afar. And the whirlwind of events occurred, he had left school and he's on with his upcoming career, had passed board exams and now I am left as an old schoolmate congratulating and interacting only through Facebook comments... It's just sad I couldn't push things much further. I could if the conditions would allow, but it's not so maybe this would be the last thing in Multiply about him. The truth is, I want to forget him. Yeah, who doesn't want to do that to someone you can't be with? I could only look at his "likes" in Facebook. I wonder why does he need to appear so much frequently now than before? This only generates more of the remorse I'm feeling right now. Ah, the agony.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
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