Thursday, October 22, 2009

好きだから

I usually write in Multiply about this person. Especially when Summer of 2008 was still around and the fleeting happy moments with him are present. Back then, I only had his Friendster account and with that I couldn't even leave a single comment. I used messaging, but then it seemed worthless. He was in love with someone else and so as they thought I was and so we couldn't be together. It's more like a one-sided love by me as always.

I never had been this blatant in talking about my feelings for him. I guess I wouldn't add him up here in Multiply, so I have the courage to speak of him freely (but luckily with only a few clues to pick up). He had been talking cordially with me online, and I got his number before but I couldn't get myself to greet him occasionally. I was afraid. Maybe I'd drive him away if I didn't. And now here I am regretting the chance I should have done this and that. For now, I could only see him online though he wanted to meet up: to catch up and do the same things before.

When I saw him in school before he left for graduation, we had a simple talk. I could really recognize him from afar. And the whirlwind of events occurred, he had left school and he's on with his upcoming career, had passed board exams and now I am left as an old schoolmate congratulating and interacting only through Facebook comments... It's just sad I couldn't push things much further. I could if the conditions would allow, but it's not so maybe this would be the last thing in Multiply about him. The truth is, I want to forget him. Yeah, who doesn't want to do that to someone you can't be with? I could only look at his "likes" in Facebook. I wonder why does he need to appear so much frequently now than before? This only generates more of the remorse I'm feeling right now. Ah, the agony.

0 comments:

Post a Comment