Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advertising. Show all posts

Monday, January 9, 2012

Freedom to Love.

Advertorial
Odd International Sex Laws

WHILST these wildly amusing laws are found around the world....

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Are your eyebrows rising?)

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (I say doctors in Bahrain must be experts in writing inverse love notes. Romantic.)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time.

Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Mummy must feel proud and wipe a tear to know her girl's grown up.)

In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (This was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
Singapore Laws
ONE of Singapore's law under the Miscellaneous Offences (Public Order and Nuisance) Act: "Any person who is found guilty of any riotous, disorderly or indecent behaviour in any public road or in any public place or place of public amusement or resort, or in the immediate vicinity of, or in, any court, public office, police station or place of worship, shall be guilty of an offence and shall be liable on conviction to a fine not exceeding $1000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding one month and in the case of a second or subsequent conviction, to a fine not exceeding $2,000 or to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months."
So yes, it's loud and clear that you can't be having public sex display in Singapore.

Even though in Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown-- if they're nude. Notice how specific the law is, which means you can find ways around it. Like, having sex with the same sex in the front yard of a home is ok. Having sex with opposite sex in the front yard of a home before sundown. Or having sex in the front yard of a home after sundown but not completely naked. Wear socks.

Despite Singapore having a reputation of being tame and safe, expats and tourists are surprised to find out from me (the Singapore Promotion Girl nonetheless) that Geylang, legit whore fun exists along side hor fun.

Thus i am tickled by Okamoto's latest Freedom campaign that describes Singaporeans to a T.



In Singapore, the only difference between a wolf and a sheep is what time they finish work. Walk into the sleazy pubs or KTVs in Tanjong Pagar and see men all shapes, size, colour and age fondling and giving toothy grins. There used to be the preconception that Caucasians are more promiscious, but i always thought it's the Asians who are better at concealing.

Car Sex
It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

While the two countries have laws about car sex, it is an ambiguity in Singapore. Whilst we cannot be having sex in public, if it is in the privacy of a car and away from the public eye, it is permissible?

In fact, in 1991, for example, when the government began offering cash bonuses to couples with more than two children, the newspaper printed tips for having sex in the back seat of a car including directions to some of the "darkest, most secluded and most romantic spots" for parking.

It suggested using newspapers to cover the windows for privacy.

Using newspapers is distasteful and cheapskate.

So the Okamoto Freedom Project created the Urban Camouflage. It's a set of temporary decals for your car's windows, from front to side to back, which makes your car look empty, even when it's not. Perfect for the car parks in East Coast.

Price: SGD 69


After all, if you do it in public outdoors, you may encounter the Hantu Tek Tek.

"I was making out with my boyfriend at East Coast Park on the bridge of rocks. With our legs dangling over, the sea breeze and stars made it a romantic night. He started to fondle me and his fingers reached below my moist regions. As we kissed, i suddenly felt something staring at us. I opened my eyes, while my boyfriend was still smooching and i saw a pair of red slit eyes staring over my boyfriend's shoulder.

A chill went over me and i freezed. My boyfriend oblivious that my tongue stopped wagging continued groping me. I then start to see more than just red slit eyes. She had long thin hair that badly needs conditioning, clothed in white robes, she looked hunched and floating. She let out a silent shrill that seemed over audible to me. She reached out for my boyfriend's neck and closed around him.

My boyfriend finally responded! He frozed and his eyes turned glassy. I then noticed it wasn't a hunch on her back, there were two humps and it dawned upon me what type she is! Remembering Hantu Tek Tek who apparantly died from child birth, a significant characteristic are her breasts that are placed on her back. The only way to ward her off is to flash her of my own!

I freed myself from my boyfriend's embrace and pulled open my blouse like Super Girl. It wasn't too difficult as my blouse was already unbuttoned. Hantu Tek Tek screamed and disappeared.

It all happened within a few seconds but it felt like ages. When my boyfriend came round to, we both realised i've wet my pants."

For location ideas, read here.
For car positions, read here.

I've walked in on You Before.
To date, i have walked in on people twice before. They weren't expecting anyone to come in but i did. The other time, i caught the mirror reflection in the toilet.

I remember writing about how cheaters will often get found out via the forces of nature, but it is better to let down your partner gently instead of letting him/her walk in on you.

So Okamoto Freedom Project created an iPhone app called TipOff, which turns your phone into an early warning device. Just set it up to face your front door, link it to your partner’s phone, and it’ll keep an eye out while you’ve got your hands full.
Afterall, cheating partners are on the rise here in Singapore at the same time as Singaporeans are getting savvy stalking. People are just better playing Hide and Seek these days.

Price: USD 0.99


Put a Cap On
Official surveys have shown that Singaporean men detest rubbers. Often described as "Which feels better, digging your nose with a finger or digging your nose with a glove?"

I did a quick survey among my female friends and ALL of them do not use protection. It was shocking. With the increasing incidence of cheating (both men and women), what if one brought a disease back? Other than the obvious fact of pregnancy. Some told me their partners detest it and they are afraid to insist on it. They didn't want to dampen the moods.

Nightcap priced $6.90 is a condom, hidden in a coaster and is available at Loof and OverEasy. For those nights when things just seem to fall into your lap.

Singaporeans need to be more sexually aware. That includes regular STD checks, Pap smears and using condoms that give you freedom.

Input your email on the top right corner to win a set of Freedom products (Urban Camouflage, Night Cap and Tip Off).
Winner will be picked on 28 Jan 2012.

Freedom from fear, freedom of anxiety, freedom to love.

http://www.okamotofreedom.com/

Friday, December 16, 2011

Advertising takes place everywhere. The history of advertising begins out-of-home with Egyptians using thick paper as wall posters. Rock or wall painting was also common. Then it starts invading our homes with television commercials, magazines and direct mailers. We can't escape advertising anymore, even rubbish bins will be used. Needless to say, Facebook cashes in on their social networking site, touted as the third largest nation if it was a country. 

Anybody can buy an ad space on Facebook and you only pay per click or impression. You can target ads according to demographics and interests, which makes it really effective and reasonable for small business and singles.

Spotted last month, an innovative singles ad caught my eye. It was actually on my friend's account and she is 22. I guess she falls into Bill's target audience as he manually sets ad parameters. 










Honestly, it raised some chuckles but i must applaud Bill for his bravery and creativity. Somewhere on his page, he mentioned that this was a prank done by his friends but now his friends are jealous that he is gaining lady attention. $0.30 for each like he got, his bill is now only $16.50, cheaper than a date!

One of the first type of ads seen in Facebook, i am sure there'll be more to come. Facebook can now use Bill as a case study if he succeeds. Unfortunately, last i checked since the screen grabs taken a month earlier, his likes still stays at 55.

Speaking of advertising, i went to Orgasm Inc. One of the last few shows screening at Sinema before it closes.
Located behind The Cathay, you climb some 142 steps before arriving at Mt Sophia. By the time you reach the top, you are wheezing like an orgasm.
Quaint and shabby. Its a hidden gem location near town! Second floor is the theatre (like a elaborate home theatre), the first time i was there, i thought Sinema reminds me of Yang Tze, the Chinatown cinema that screens soft porn.
So, Orgasm Inc is a documentary about filmmaker Liz Canner who exposes medical companies who take advantage of the insecurity of women (and potentially endanger their health) in pursuit of billion dollar profits. To be honest, i haven't seen a really exciting documentary other than Animal Planet, but surely all documentaries especially those of humanity brings forth thought.

However, the highlight of the evening for me was the pre-screening FREE SEX workshop by Dr Martha Lee. It was amusing to observe the attendees, to experience how a sex workshop was conducted and to meet a sexologist in person. That career choice certainly piques interests!

The hall was pretty empty except for 11 couples, 2 of whom are Caucasians and 3 inter race (ang mohs and their spgs). There were 6 pairs of girls (including myself and friend), 3 women (Wah, so brave) and 2 men who came alone. I counted because i thought the statistics made a statement. Girls are hungry for information and not abashed to seek knowledge.

Dr Lee stepped up on stage barefooted and apologized for the lack of shoes as she was afraid of falling. I looked at my friend and raised my eyebrow. A bespectacled woman, dressed in a frumpy floral dress in a dull colour, she sat on a high stool with her shoulders hunched and she looked at the floor as she spoke. My other eyebrow raised, bewildered. I did not expect a meek woman who choose sex as a profession to portray such an image. I would expect ego larger than a watermelon and alluring confidence like a Hollywood sex pot.

I caught rather unflattering images of Dr Lee but with due respect, i don't think i should upload them. It was unanimous that we were appalled at the unveiling of a real sexologist yet was refreshing that our preconceived image was challenged.

I whispered to my  girlfriend and asked if she would take a hot sexologist more seriously or a plain Jane more seriously. Without second thought, she replied "hot!" I later discoursed with my male friend and he thought that it's usually the plain Jane who is better in bed because she would be more eager to please. Although he said he'll take a hot one more seriously. But i saw a glint of cheekiness in his eye, i knew what he was thinking.


As minutes passed, Dr Lee got over her stage fright and started awkward discussions like "what's an orgasm". I suppose her forte is in intimate private consultations and thus she fails at public speaking. I expected a session packed with information and useful tips but Dr Lee took the approach of a discussion. Which i felt was inappropriate for conservative shy Singaporeans. Dr Lee then took the lead by sharing her own orgasm and experiencing her first. She felt the tingling sensation when she was 3. Her sister discovered it by accident and she set out on a race to beat her sister. Later in school, she let on that she was the ugliest girl and thus masturbated alot. My amusement just could not get any better.

The handful participants warmed up only towards the end of the session.
Dr Lee was trying to drive home a point that you are not abnormal if you do not experience a female orgasm via intercourse. This was what the medical companies were trying to hypnotize women to feel and thus deluding them that they are dysfunctional and therefore needs to be treated with pills. And the money making machine starts.

She explains that most women experience orgasm with clitoral stimulation easier and better. A men's ejaculation may not mean an orgasm. The science behind an orgasm is really dumb-founding.

She then ended the session by getting us up on our feet and doing keggel exercises. This tightens a woman's vagina and delays a man's ejaculation. She then hands out a 15% discount coupon to an adult store.
 Later, it was a full house at the screening of Orgasm Inc. I suspect it's because of the Groupon offering where deal hunting Singaporeans bought the tickets without really know why they did it.

Radio DJs Shan and Roz interviewed Dr Martha Lee before, if you want to know more about her profession.


Otherwise, let me visit the little girl's room to experience my own orgasm!