The Secret World in Japan

The creativity of the Japanese remains unrivaled. My favourite TV show on Sundays used to be the Japanese "Change change change" talent show. Almost every contestant left me in awe.

Expectedly, the fuzoku (commercial sex) industry in Japan is just as creative, just by the sheer number of choices. This facet of the Japanese intrigues me. It is a world in which men live out their wildest fantasies, yet they are set in the most 'blah' spaces of everyday life, like in the MRT and offices (it's been a long coming that sex on the beach is overrated).

It is also a world of asobi (play) but it is very serious in its obsessions. It is a world in which the customer (usually male) is king but obeys strict rules the moment they step in. 

I misunderstood the Japanese when i saw "Japanese Only" signs in their fuzoku outlets.

I thought they were being snobbish by rejecting foreigners. I learnt the real reason wasn't them being elitist, but because foreigners finds it absurd to play by the fuzoku rules. Every customer fills out a detailed checklist of how his next hour will play out. 

Even out of fuzoku, the Japanese are observant of all rules. It reminds me of my experience in a themed restaurant in Shibuya. We were the only non Japanese diners and we didn't take the theme too seriously. We posed for pictures, went in and out of the prison cell. We noticed the Japanese diners all stayed put in their cells and only got out when they've finished their meal.

In fuzoku, answering a questionnaire beforehand go as detailed as if you would like the girl to observe your appendage with admiration (regardless of the truth) before going down. It's the same as ordering a steak at a restaurant and you've to instruct the chef beforehand how exactly you'll like your meat.

Gleaned from a real Japanese fuzoku questionnaire,

Other Requests:
1 word attack: girl says rude things to customer
2 spit on penis
3 staring at penis

There will be Japanese men who disobey the rules occasionally too. These men will then be ridiculed by having their photo taken while they are still in towels and plastered on the shop front with large text "BANNED". Much of the world of the fuzoku centers around uniforms, a common requirement in schools and companies, it symbolize the formal surface of manners. Underneath these formal roles and uniforms lurks the pervert nature of men.

"Men are universally perverted; it's just that in Japan, we do something about it."

Males pay for illusions of power and control but in reality, they follow minute scripts as revealed in the questionnaires. The paradoxical world of fuzoku is mind boggling. Yet it isn't surprising because it is a transaction after all, isn't it? There are no emotions, there is no love. You don't really 'go with the flow'. Even the 'flow' is determined how much is allowed (no more than two times).

The fuzoku accounted for 2.37 trillion Yen in 2001 and i only scratched the surface with the themed love hotels.

Geishas, a long tradition of compensated companionship still exists with more modern practices like male hostesses serving female patrons are gaining traction. It has even reached Singapore's shores on Lavender Street.

Anything that happens regularly in most places, Japan takes a step further. In "happening bars", customers pay a hefty membership fee and they meet other paying customers to "happen". There is no privacy as most rooms have  one-way mirrors and peepholes. Couples even bring their partners to swap.

Not all establishments offer intercourse as that is technically illegal. They always insist that if intercourse do happen, it doesn't happen on their establishment, but is something that is arranged between the two. Thus publicly, the Japanese have to be creative in their offerings. In inexpensive osawari pubs, it is a rotating concept with no intercourse involved. In the Nurse Station in Osaka, "nurses" go cubicle to cubicle on a rotating basis to make out their their "patients".  Patients can be visited by as many as three different nurses in a forty-minute period. At Air Touch in Osaka, customers receive more than drinks and conversation if they choose to sit in "Business Class". This one makes me chuckle: At the Kaiten Zushi Baxy, it is a rotating sushi breast-touching pub. The girls are named "shrimp", "tuna" and "urchin", rotate every two minutes. 

It's all very real, and like i said most of fuzoku don't necessary end in intercourse. There's something deeper within that men could possibly be searching?

The numerous flyers i received walking on the street in Akibahara.

Like this which you can pay $15 to have your ear cleaned by a busty (no less) lady.

There's a new service in town. Just opening in September last year, Soineya, Japan's first "co-sleeping specialty shop", where customers pay to sleep in the arms or on the butt of a beautiful girl. It's a stereotype that men want sex all the time. It's not true! They do like cuddling! It's gaining popularity and Soineya is opening it's second outlet in Tokyo. 

Here's their menu

Admission fee: 3000 yen (US $40)

Standard Course 

20 min – 3000 yen ($40)

40 min – 5000 yen ($65, only 3000 yen for first time visitors)

60 min – 6000 yen ($77)

6 hrs – 30000 yen ($387)

Optional Course

Customer sleeps in girl’s arm (3 min) – 1000 yen ($13)

Girl pats customer on the back (3 min) – 1000 yen  ($13)

Customer pets girl on the head (3 min) – 1000 yen  ($13)

Customer and girl stare at each other (1 min) – 1000 yen  ($13)

Girl changes clothes (1 time) – 1000 yen  ($13)

Girl gives customer foot massage (3 min) – 1000 yen  ($13)

Customer gives girl foot massage (3 min) – 2000 yen  ($26)

Customer sleeps with head on girl’s lap (3 min) – 1000 yen  ($13)

Girl sleeps with head on customer’s lap (3 min) – 2000 yen  ($26)

The job description for Soineya is 

Job: Sleeping

Location: Akihabara (3 min walk from station)

Qualifications: High school age to 30′s

Compensation: 3500 yen ($45)/hour

Hours: Weekdays 15:00-22:00, Weekend/holidays 12:00-22:00

Anyone interested in applying can do so here.

$45/hr to sleep sounds better than standing on your feet at a car show giving flyers or being a Club Snap model. 

If you are a customer, let's hope you don't really fall asleep (you'll go bankrupt) at Soineya and pray your butt pillow don't fart. 

If you are intrigued to know more about this side of the Japanese culture, get Joan Sinclair's Pink Box from Amazon. It's one of my best cheeky reads. 

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www.gudanggrosiran.com Categories: japan, sex, travel, weird japan

Insights from a Collection

When people travel, they collect fridge magnets and Hard Rock t-shirts to boast about their wanderlust accomplishments.     

I find such collections unimaginative.

Traveling is not just shopping, eat and play. For me, it's about immersing into another's culture, truly understanding the beauty of the local's living.

So, 

i BROWSE

local artistic magazines.

It started with Australia. I had the last AUD 10 in my hands and my housemate who sent me to the airport said i should buy one last souvenir to remember Australia by. He recommended a man's magazine. Being the thrifty ex-student, i debated if AUD 10 was worth spending on a lad's magazine. After all, i may return to Australia and this AUD 10 could go to food or a new Myers dress! Minutes before i entered the departure gates, unsure if i will ever enter Australia again...my house mate called out, "Are you very very sure you don't want a lad's mag?!? You won't be able to get it in Singapore!"

But as pornography is prohibited in Singapore, i was not foolish and brought the $10 back to Singapore. (hooray as the AUD is steadily rising!)

Then the idea resurfaced in Japan. I was in 7-11 innocently looking through the aisles for interesting food flavours. I didn't find anything whacky but i discovered Kose individual face masks going for $5 ($20 here!). As i approached the cashier, i walked past the magazine stands and the covers caught my eye. There was a man in a suit flipping through the magazines and when i joined him, he sheepishly picked up his document bag and scoot. 

For the next 15 minutes, i hogged the magazine stand and scared off all the men. I examined the covers one by one. There were at least 10 titles of different genres. From Bored Housewives to School Girls to Office Girls and such. Japanese fashion magazines are known to give freebies, branded pouches and bags even. These artistic magazines are no lacking in the freebie department as well. DVDs and panties. For $10, it was a pretty good masturbatory deal.

If i had not browsed at the Japanese magazine stand, i would not have known the inside looked like this, the DVDs would be mosaic, even the comics are blanked out.

I thought it was because it was sold at 7-11, thus accessible to minors. It was later to multiple trial & error purchases and a curiosity like a cat that i learned the most boggling contradicting culture of the Japanese.

One of the largest markets for pornography in the world, film makers are forced to censor their films because pre-existing laws regarding pornography remained even after the WW2 as these materials are deemed "injurious to public morals".

It is possible that Japan's wacky and innovative porn could be a response of the strict censorship which makes it much of a turn off to most men. Without censorship, the Japanese directors could become as lazy as their American counterparts who reply heavily on close-ups of penetration.

That's a cultural learning.

Next was India. The legendary Karma Sutra hailed from there (although it's debatable as history seem to claim that the Chinese invented it before the Indians). India is still a fairly conservative society where the girls are cladded in saris, wrapped like a dumping despite what Bollywood depicts. I did not see any men's magazines, not even FHM. I later learnt that they are available, just that they are buried under other covers and will only surface upon request. However, the Indian girls on the cover have only displayed skin of the arms and only in recent years, it opened up to the naked back and now midriffs too. 

Singapore's FHM show a tad more in comparison.

Wanting something more authentic, i started asking for the Karma Sutra. Many bookstores offered me the imported ones, but i adamantly insisted for a local version.

Time was running out as my days of travel grew shorter. I found a storekeeper who had to spend 5 minutes digging through his dusty back room. That looked promising, he dusted off the cover and it looked authentic. Sold!

I paid $8 and the cover was an illustrated painting of an ancient man and woman, bodies contorted. It was like a thesis paper within, the Karma Sutra is an art form that teaches how a woman should behave etc. Almost like an Obedient Wives Club guide book, and not the lurid sort you'd think.

Later on in my private time, i flipped open and found imprinted on the back cover it says in bold, "Printed in Singapore." Yet Singapore bans such books/ magazines.

That's another cultural learning.

Then i travelled in Europe and could browse 3 continents at one go. The magazines were sold at petrol stations for $5. The Italians were perfetto while the Germans as one would expect, big boned. 

And in Hong Kong, porn is a big thing for locals i was told. They have call girl guidebooks ($5) sold at the news stands and at the airport book store i spotted a guidebook that teaches you how to download for free at paid sites ($35).

What was different in Hong Kong/ Taiwan than the other countries was that magazines with naked men were found at public news stands. A man's magazine for the men, i'd just say while a female model can be photoshopped to perfection and Cup Ds, it isn't the same for men. Needless to say, while the European models are neatly waxed or shaved, the Asians were proud of their fat choy. Which i later learn that Asian women who remove their fat choy will dampen their man's fortune.

Warped as it may be, i find that browsing local artistic magazines unravels cultural insights, superstitions and beliefs. Why then, do sex sell? Attractive men or women in adverts excites the areas of the brain that makes us buy on impulse, bypassing the sections which control rational thought. So watch your brain, watch your wallet. All these thoughts and analysis wouldn't have come from a fridge magnet or a Hard Rock tee.

And as i mentioned that pornography is prohibited in Singapore, do browse but leave it behind next to the bed stand. 

A surprise for the lonely traveller who will next occupy the hotel room.

xoxo Wanderlust.

Read my travel stories here.

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www.gudanggrosiran.com Categories: FHM, harumi nemoto, india, japan, karma sutra, penthouse, playboy, sex, travel

人生 の意味と目的は 何ですか

Saturday was very Japanese. It started with lunch at Akashi in Paragon.

I love sitting at the sushi bar, in front of chef Kaiser. He patiently answers our my random questions, he entertains us by pulling out raw exotic eats, he whets our appetite and see to our needs.

The first time i encountered these endamame (salt boiled peas), was with my friend's family when i was 15. I was very sua ku (ignorant) then, and i didn't know what they were, needless to say how to eat it. Being the guest, the family politely pushed the bowl towards me and gestured for me to try it first. I politely took one as they all stared at me wide eyed with toothy grins. I held the pea close to my mouth, paused for a second (thinking how am i supposed to eat this?), squeezed my eyes shut and pop the WHOLE endamame into my mouth. Shell, skin, everything. IT WAS TOUGH. No one said anything, and i struggled to chew but i eventually swallowed.

Still, no one said anything. I smiled weakly and said it was "nice". That gave the cue for the family to join in. My friend's sister took one and started squeezing out the peas within and only eating those things INSIDE!

I was horrified. No one said a thing. I elbowed my friend and asked why she didn't tell me so! She said it was also her first time eating >_<

I had the codfish sperm as well as tuna eyeball here in the heart of Orchard too. Adding on to the exotic eats list is baby Unagi. An Unagi is a live freshwater eel.

What we had was JUST-HATCHED eels. The moment these babies breathe, in my mouth they go.

Where Kaiser is pointing is it's head, the black dot is its eye.

It looks like kway tiao (flat rice noodles). You don't really chew, you pretty much swallow. I like how it feels on my tongue. It is smooth and it glides around. Strangely enough, as i am writing this, i feel a tingle. Just like how my friend described eating it, he asked "don't you somehow feel orgasmic eating this?" Weird i know, but mum always say not to play with food. This is one food we wanted to play with our mouths. As we bit into its tiny head, it bursts and a tiny bit of tasteless liquid fills our mouth.

This is my FAVOURITE dish. I usually balk at raw eggs, i cannot imagine body builders drinking a concoction of 5 raw eggs. The head chef sliced us some very fresh squid in strips and gave us a dip that is of soya sauce, some peices of Uni (sea urchin) and a raw egg yolk (stir it up)! You eat it like you would dip soba in cold sauce, it was DELICIOUS!

When Singaporeans think of sashimi and sushi, they think of Salmon. I had the raw beef sushi. It was marbled, and it melted in my mouth.

Then came the dish which was the reason for this adventure. More sperm.

Pufferfish sperm is in season!

That's uncooked sperm. The fish is naturally wet, so not much foreplay was needed.

They boil it a little before serving it to our table.

I actually quite like it. It tastes better than cod fish sperm (which smelt, was very thick and toufu-like). I didn't even know what i popped into my mouth, i thought it was some tasty chicken! It was meaty indeed, i hope i got some protein out of it.

Then i invited two of my best friends to Memoris of a Geisha at Orchard Scotts Residence

 They had a sperm whale of a time.

 All things Japanese.

 Vernise, the hostess is a stickler for decoration. That's why i LOVE her parties.

 My favourite bite sized ice cream! Once you pop, you can't stop. No, actually you can with these because of BRAIN FREEZE.

 Choya, surprisingly tastes real good. My choice of alcohol from now. At least it's healthy, right?

The ever generous hosts. Wil takes his role play VERY SERIOUSLY, like every Japanese. His partner dutifully role played the French maid, cleaning up after him & dusting him after (maybe). Nice match!

The sushi chef whipped up an absolutely ooishi pancake packed with lots of liao (ham, cabbage, squid).

His "ang moh" apprentice helped out.

Fatty pork that dissolves in my mouth and reappears on the hips.

It's not Japanese if there isn't any mischief!

 Good food, good beer.

 Even some rock and roe.

 Legs, legs, legs.

 Then the drinking begins.

 I was the official beer girl.

 They drank,

 and drank,

and drank.

Yes, i was the beer pot.

short and stout.

They like to 干杯 me too.

Being interviewed.

Thinking froth.

 Good company, beautiful people.

It was a donation drive too. To Red Cross for its relief efforts in Japan. We raised some $7000, thanks to Sushi chef's company doubling what was collected at this party.

 They make a very kawaii couple.

That's a real Japanese in between us. A very drunk and frisky one too. Such are usually the life of parties.

School girls, maids, sailors and a Harajuku babe.

We left at midnight only to find this in the lift and cam whored further! Room service anyone?

Hopped to Newton for something non Japanese.

The best non alchohol (for me) party in a long time coming!
Party pictures by Lennard Chan and others.

あめふってじかたまる, 雨降って地固まる.

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www.gudanggrosiran.com Categories: costume party, japan