Enough with the keyboard warriors and their hate comments, enough with the EDMWers sharing gossip. Be creative, be innovative, use the Internet for something beautiful.
Showing posts with label inspirational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspirational. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Monday, January 9, 2012
I remember when i had the Leukemia scare in 2009, i asked myself was i afraid of dying?
Inside me, i was calm and i felt peace. Partly because of my faith, partly because i felt at least i have lived.
As we are into the second week of 2012, are there any thoughts how you'll live it?
Found this inspiring article by a nurse who revealed the Top 5 Regrets of her dying patients.
By Bronnie Ware
People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
Me: Society expected me to behave a certain way. I needed to be demure, I shouldn't talk provocatively as a lady. I was judged, robbed of opportunities at work because i refused to behave the Asian society expects me to. I refused to bow down. I stayed true to who i am, honey i am a Scorpio, baby i am born this way. Eventually there will be true friends who'll accept me, there'll be a soul mate who'll love me for who i am. There'll be a career who makes best use of the vivacious carefree nature i have.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
Me: I find many men saying, "when i have earned enough, then i will....." What if that day doesn't come? What if your time ends before you reached your income mark? I believe we have a life purpose, and it's all about relationships.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,min the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
Me: I had no qualms about going after the men i desire, though i've learnt that men should do the courting. But what i am learning and still learning is to not quell my unhappiness.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.
Inside me, i was calm and i felt peace. Partly because of my faith, partly because i felt at least i have lived.
As we are into the second week of 2012, are there any thoughts how you'll live it?
Found this inspiring article by a nurse who revealed the Top 5 Regrets of her dying patients.
By Bronnie Ware
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.
When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it. 
Me: Society expected me to behave a certain way. I needed to be demure, I shouldn't talk provocatively as a lady. I was judged, robbed of opportunities at work because i refused to behave the Asian society expects me to. I refused to bow down. I stayed true to who i am, honey i am a Scorpio, baby i am born this way. Eventually there will be true friends who'll accept me, there'll be a soul mate who'll love me for who i am. There'll be a career who makes best use of the vivacious carefree nature i have.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
Me: I find many men saying, "when i have earned enough, then i will....." What if that day doesn't come? What if your time ends before you reached your income mark? I believe we have a life purpose, and it's all about relationships.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,min the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
Me: I had no qualms about going after the men i desire, though i've learnt that men should do the courting. But what i am learning and still learning is to not quell my unhappiness.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.
Friday, December 23, 2011
.jpg)
Like a prisoner who marks the days that has passed by making notches on the bed post to an alpha male who keeps memorabilia of every girl he has slept with, I keep a book of boys whom I’ve rejected. This post is going to sound extremely egoistic, but hey everyone has one of those low self-esteem moments and this diary entry will probably serve its purpose in a pick-me-up.
Mind you, the name only makes the list only if the boy explicitly asked me “to go stead” with him. The recording stopped in year 2003 when “be my stead” became passé.
Nobody uses that phrase now and thus the ambiguity and hearts broken unconsciously. Whilst in those days where "want to be my stead" can be asked unabashed, it also means the reply don't need to be minced. "No, i don't want to be your horse."
Today, with the wishy washy start of the subject matter
"I hmmm...like spending time with you. I hmmm....really like your personality. I hmmm....would like to see you more. I hmmm...hope you will want to..."
If you don't feel the same way, you need to think quickly on the spot how to let him down gently and tactfully. I twist, turn and wriggle my way out with words but i've never said "No, i don't want to be your girlfriend". Why? Because that would be totally presumptuous on my part, for he never did ask "want to be my stead?"
And men accuse women of leading them on.
Women Should not Court
Female magazines like Cosmopolitan or Cleo teach women to take charge and be a man eater, making us believe that men actually like aggressive women, women who make the first move for a change. Despite how convincingly their articles are, i think it's innate and will never change, that men are the hunters.
Born with a star sign that oozes with sexuality and passions, I often am not afraid to make the first move on any moving thing. I have no qualms courting a man and i've done it to the men whom i call boyfriends.
Experiences have proven me that men do not appreciate and treasure as much as if they were the one who hunted for you. Men has an innate desire to chase.
2011 has seen a couple of suitors that bemused me with their antics yet showed so clear how society has breed a generation of focused (not in a good way) men. A generation of girly men who cower in fear, not wanting to chase is another topic for another day.
2011 has seen suitors of professions that every mum would want her son to be, and a profession that every mum would want her daughter to marry. Alas, my mum is taken by my dad.
Mothers are biased. Because of a certain profession, they think well of a person. This man who would be held in high regard by mothers tried to cuddle me in the cinema on a first date! I put his hand back in place, crossed my arms and warned him to behave. He obeyed.
He continued asking me out a total of 3 more times in consecutive weeks before his interest started to wane and disappeared.
Honestly, he had the entire package for a typical Singaporean girl. Looks, cash, condo, car. It shouldn't be too difficult for him to get hitched if he wanted an instant wife.
Last I heard he has since then gone around the social circuit asking any available girl out without any quality control.
Then there was that younger boy, who tried to impress me with his domineering ways. Hollering for taxis, insisting on a show i wasn't interested in and then insisting that because i didn't want to be with him, i must be not into settling down, marrying and having babies.
Last i heard, he hasn't graduated from university.
But then there was this man who had his head screwed on right and his ethics in check. After going out a couple of times, i was pressured to decide. In his exact words, "i want to be investing in someone whom i see a potential in and a high chance of bearing fruit."
He was blatantly honest and so i could brutally reply that i won't be a pawn in his chest game. He cannot check-mate me.
Then there was the sweet man who took me out for a birthday lunch but made a wrong move of making it a picnic. In all honesty, it was a refreshing change, kudos for being different and i appreciate his sincerity. However, it was a romantic idea executed too soon that raised goosebumps.
Whatever happened to friendship first, whatever happened to brewing a good brew? Is this lost in a rat-raced society?
Then again, perhaps each of these men knew exactly what they want thus they cut to the chase.
Then again, perhaps i was never really into them thus i never really chased.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
There was a time when I contemplated suicide. I was 17.
I am very fortunate to have a complete happy family, but the immature me felt utterly miserable with the biased parents.
I grew up with criticism like "i'm good for nothing but being vain" or that "boys won't like me because of xxx" . I grew up with earning my own keep. I grew up with eating the leftovers. The favoritism made me wonder if I was swooped at birth , it made me wish I was Caldecott Queen Zoe Tay’s daughter (I idolized her back then). I felt very unloved and I questioned my existence.
It was a dark period of my life. My best friend could even recount me asking her if anyone would tear if I passed on. I don’t remember her reply.
There were nights when I would light a candle and play with flame. Days when I was home alone and thought about the gas. Later on at 20 when I bungee jumped, I realized how much guts it takes to jump off a building.
Fortunately, the depression didn’t last long enough to do much damage. I didn’t go wild partying, I didn’t do drugs, and I didn’t sleep around. Instead, I focused my negative energy into a sport. It was at Takewando class where I met a friend, who showed me tender loving kindness with no ulterior motives.
In those months, he made me a mix tape of inspirational songs, wrote me countless encouraging notes and piled me with chocolates that packed me with endorphins. He made me mingle with his friends and he brought me out, he distracted me from ending my life. For someone who needed much love at that time, it wouldn’t be too difficult to spiral into a relationship without thinking twice.
However, that didn’t happen and it made me realize I am stronger than I think.
Our parents aren't perfect. They are also humans and they are also learning. Later on when i grew up and moved to Australia, my relationship with my parents got better. I appreciated their existence more as they did to mine. As i grow older, my heart wince as i see my parents age. With each day, i learn to be more patient with my once critical mum. I bite my tongue before retorting, I spend more time with her willingly.
We are all born winners; we were that one sperm that won the other 37539202 sperms. Don’t you ever forget that.
I am very fortunate to have a complete happy family, but the immature me felt utterly miserable with the biased parents.
I grew up with criticism like "i'm good for nothing but being vain" or that "boys won't like me because of xxx" . I grew up with earning my own keep. I grew up with eating the leftovers. The favoritism made me wonder if I was swooped at birth , it made me wish I was Caldecott Queen Zoe Tay’s daughter (I idolized her back then). I felt very unloved and I questioned my existence.
It was a dark period of my life. My best friend could even recount me asking her if anyone would tear if I passed on. I don’t remember her reply.
There were nights when I would light a candle and play with flame. Days when I was home alone and thought about the gas. Later on at 20 when I bungee jumped, I realized how much guts it takes to jump off a building.
Fortunately, the depression didn’t last long enough to do much damage. I didn’t go wild partying, I didn’t do drugs, and I didn’t sleep around. Instead, I focused my negative energy into a sport. It was at Takewando class where I met a friend, who showed me tender loving kindness with no ulterior motives.
In those months, he made me a mix tape of inspirational songs, wrote me countless encouraging notes and piled me with chocolates that packed me with endorphins. He made me mingle with his friends and he brought me out, he distracted me from ending my life. For someone who needed much love at that time, it wouldn’t be too difficult to spiral into a relationship without thinking twice.
However, that didn’t happen and it made me realize I am stronger than I think.
Our parents aren't perfect. They are also humans and they are also learning. Later on when i grew up and moved to Australia, my relationship with my parents got better. I appreciated their existence more as they did to mine. As i grow older, my heart wince as i see my parents age. With each day, i learn to be more patient with my once critical mum. I bite my tongue before retorting, I spend more time with her willingly.
We are all born winners; we were that one sperm that won the other 37539202 sperms. Don’t you ever forget that.
Friday, February 11, 2011
I recently attended a World Volunteer Conference (where I saw Jet Li) and it was like stepping into a motivational session. Many of the keynote speakers were sharing their story of how they have found their happiness through volunteering.
Jet Li shared that while he was making a lot of money and having all the women in the world, he wasn’t happy. He only found real happiness when he started to give. Thus he started the One Foundation and a slew of charitable acts.
Instantly, I felt rejuvenated and revived. I felt a huge urge to throw my worries and fears about making ends meet, go out, hug the tree and love the world.
Then I stopped, and thought, “Easy for him/her to say! He’s a multi-millionaire!”
Yet I guess, until we truly are millionaires ourselves, we won’t know if happiness is attained then.
How can we be happy without being rich?
Sounds like a bleak situation but here’s what you can do to increase happiness.
Avoid small talk. A related predictor of happiness is how much substantive discussion a person engages in, compared to small talk. Generally, small talk makes people unhappy, and often, work relationships involve a disproportionate amount of small talk. If you want to increase your happiness, it’s far better to find one or two colleagues with whom you can have a real discussion than to engage in small talk around the water cooler.
I had a colleague who sits in front of me. We became lunch khakis, and slowly over lunch we let each other into each's lives. Though i enjoy my workplace in general, having him as a best friend at work made it even better. No office romance occured.
2. Spend time on “socially connecting” activities
such as volunteering and spending time with friends. Work doesn’t count. Unless your job is particularly fulfilling and your colleagues are your best buds, work is not ’socially connecting’ and is generally one of the more unhappy parts of the day. Commuting is also gets high marks for making people unhappy.
Volunteering has been proven to be a good way to increase happiness.
Memory is important, because it helps us take an event that happened in the past and extend its ‘worth’ into the future.
3. Day Dream
This is my favourite! Research has shown that the part of the brain responsible for feeling pleasure can be activated just by thinking about something pleasurable. And we often enjoy the anticipation of something pleasurable more than the actual experience that we think is going to be so great. The most common example is vacation planning, which some find more pleasurable than the vacation itself.
4. Expand your time
No, this does not mean you have to find a warp in the space-time continuum (although it might help). Focusing on the “here and now” slows down the perceived passage of time, allowing people to feel less rushed and hurried. How can we do that?
Breathe slowly. Just for a few minutes. As the authors write: “In one study, subjects who were instructed to take long and slow breaths (vs. short and quick ones) for 5 minutes not only felt there was more time available to get things done, but also perceived their day to be longer.”
Volunteering makes it seem like you have more time. In general, spending time on someone else makes people feel like they have more spare time and that their future is more expansive.
Pay people to do the chores you hate. Activities that we choose to do generally make us happier than those that are obligatory. So if you can afford it, hire someone else to do some of the ‘obligatory’ tasks, such as cleaning the house. Then use the time you’ve ‘bought’ not to catch up on work, but to do something you genuinely enjoy.
I HATE doing the household chores. However, once i told myself it's actually not that bad. It's exercise = keeps me slim and i start DAY DREAMING that i am like Cinderella (the Prince will come some day), i actually enjoyed housework. It'll be another story when i get married.
5. Age changes the way people experience happiness.
Youths tend to equate happiness with excitement, but as people get older, happiness is associated with feeling peaceful. Young people get more happiness from spending time with interesting new acquaintances, while older people get more enjoyment from spending time with close friends and family.
So What Makes Old People Happy (according to Stock Images)?
1. Convertables
2. Scooters
3. Bike dates
4. Tag
5. Strawberries
6. Scarves
7. Computers
8. Getting their blood pressure taken
9. The phone
10. Boobs
11. Balls
12 Slides
13. Fitting Rooms
14. Light Bulbs
14. Lollipops
15. Needles
16. Bingo
17. Retirement
18. Feeling Young
19. Playing With Friends
20. X-Rays
21. Ear buds
22. Running In Water
23. Banging Gongs
24. Raising Their Hands
25. Washing Each Other
Find your Happiness, Whatever It may Be.
Jet Li shared that while he was making a lot of money and having all the women in the world, he wasn’t happy. He only found real happiness when he started to give. Thus he started the One Foundation and a slew of charitable acts.
Instantly, I felt rejuvenated and revived. I felt a huge urge to throw my worries and fears about making ends meet, go out, hug the tree and love the world.
Then I stopped, and thought, “Easy for him/her to say! He’s a multi-millionaire!”
Yet I guess, until we truly are millionaires ourselves, we won’t know if happiness is attained then.
How can we be happy without being rich?
1. Spend Time with the “Right People”
The people that make you happiest will generally be friends, family and romantic partners. Once out of school, guess where we spend the most time at? Work. Unfortunately, not many of us have a best friend at work, even rare that we like our boss.
Sounds like a bleak situation but here’s what you can do to increase happiness.
Avoid small talk. A related predictor of happiness is how much substantive discussion a person engages in, compared to small talk. Generally, small talk makes people unhappy, and often, work relationships involve a disproportionate amount of small talk. If you want to increase your happiness, it’s far better to find one or two colleagues with whom you can have a real discussion than to engage in small talk around the water cooler.
I had a colleague who sits in front of me. We became lunch khakis, and slowly over lunch we let each other into each's lives. Though i enjoy my workplace in general, having him as a best friend at work made it even better. No office romance occured.
2. Spend time on “socially connecting” activities
such as volunteering and spending time with friends. Work doesn’t count. Unless your job is particularly fulfilling and your colleagues are your best buds, work is not ’socially connecting’ and is generally one of the more unhappy parts of the day. Commuting is also gets high marks for making people unhappy.
Volunteering has been proven to be a good way to increase happiness.
Memory is important, because it helps us take an event that happened in the past and extend its ‘worth’ into the future.
3. Day Dream
This is my favourite! Research has shown that the part of the brain responsible for feeling pleasure can be activated just by thinking about something pleasurable. And we often enjoy the anticipation of something pleasurable more than the actual experience that we think is going to be so great. The most common example is vacation planning, which some find more pleasurable than the vacation itself.
4. Expand your time
No, this does not mean you have to find a warp in the space-time continuum (although it might help). Focusing on the “here and now” slows down the perceived passage of time, allowing people to feel less rushed and hurried. How can we do that?
Breathe slowly. Just for a few minutes. As the authors write: “In one study, subjects who were instructed to take long and slow breaths (vs. short and quick ones) for 5 minutes not only felt there was more time available to get things done, but also perceived their day to be longer.”
Volunteering makes it seem like you have more time. In general, spending time on someone else makes people feel like they have more spare time and that their future is more expansive.
Pay people to do the chores you hate. Activities that we choose to do generally make us happier than those that are obligatory. So if you can afford it, hire someone else to do some of the ‘obligatory’ tasks, such as cleaning the house. Then use the time you’ve ‘bought’ not to catch up on work, but to do something you genuinely enjoy.
I HATE doing the household chores. However, once i told myself it's actually not that bad. It's exercise = keeps me slim and i start DAY DREAMING that i am like Cinderella (the Prince will come some day), i actually enjoyed housework. It'll be another story when i get married.
5. Age changes the way people experience happiness.
Youths tend to equate happiness with excitement, but as people get older, happiness is associated with feeling peaceful. Young people get more happiness from spending time with interesting new acquaintances, while older people get more enjoyment from spending time with close friends and family.
So What Makes Old People Happy (according to Stock Images)?
1. Convertables
2. Scooters
3. Bike dates
4. Tag
5. Strawberries
6. Scarves
7. Computers
8. Getting their blood pressure taken
9. The phone
10. Boobs
11. Balls
12 Slides
13. Fitting Rooms
14. Light Bulbs
14. Lollipops
15. Needles
16. Bingo
17. Retirement
18. Feeling Young
19. Playing With Friends
20. X-Rays
21. Ear buds
22. Running In Water
23. Banging Gongs
24. Raising Their Hands
25. Washing Each Other
Find your Happiness, Whatever It may Be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
