A Naked Food Review

First, there was Kinki, where you find orgasmic $15 sushi pieces topped with foie gras, caviar and the likes.

Just opened is The Naked Finn. The adage old theory of "sex sells" still works. It made me curious. Despite the website boasting of "procuring the best quality seafood, cooked simply, and most importantly, priced reasonably." The word "Naked" was what whet my appetite.

Arriving last night at 41 Malan Road, Gillman Barracks, it reminds me of Klee that has since closed down at Portsdown Road. Rumour says that The Naked Finn is an reincarnation of Klee, however the food at Klee wasn't memorable. Yuppies frequent that place for bespoke cocktails. I remember my customised passionfruit cocktail at Klee made my head swim, in a good way (or maybe it was the lack of food).

The Naked Finn sits no more than 20 indoors and about 10 more outdoors. You ought to make reservations to avoid disappointments (+65 6694 0807). If you like sitting at the bar & seeing hands at work, the kitchen behind the bar is see-through. Naked is certainly not a brick-and-motar place, with the walls "made of plastic sheets", you could look up and see the aluminium roof outside. It gave a glasshouse effect, with the twinkling of warm orange lights.

Feeling very exclusive, Monday night saw 4 couples dining.

I ordered a Korean pear with Hendricks Gin to cool down upon arrival but i preferred his choice, which was honeydew paired with sake and another alcohol i can't remember ($20 each). The signature cocktails came shaken, not stirred, like a potent slurpee. The drink lasted me through dinner at -12 degrees.

The menu looked European with pretentious names. Grilled Indian octupus with salt & olive oil, Flambe live Japanese little necks in home-made barramudi broth. Clams are clams, maybe i'm not chi-chi enough. At least i learned some seafood names and a great treath to have the breadth of seafood choices.

However, nothing needs to be consumed through a straw. No foam, no gold flakes. It was a pleasant surprise there was an Asian twist to Naked! As we ordered a single serve ($8) of the octupus, the clams ($18) & a pan-fried lemon sole whole ($35) to share, the vivacious waiter asked if we would like some cold vermicilli to go along ($4). The vermicilli is boiled, lightly tossed with perhaps sesame oil & soya sauce then garnished with finely chopped chives. We were also presented with 4 sauces as dips: lemongrass, belachan, sea salt and dark soya sauce.

The Indian octupus is my favourite, the clams were big and juicy but i found it abit too fishy. The seaweed flakes that came with the pan-fried virgin oil lemon sole was a nice combination. You hardly need the sauces to taint the taste of the fresh seafood but the belachan does go very well with the bee hoon.

The Naked Finn is alot healthier than chilli crab, and as their website boasts, you do pay for what it’s worth. Like how a lady should dress and keep some mystery, “less is only more, where more is no good”.

Virgin, unspoiled, Naked could just be the next Newton Circus to get seafood.

P.S a genuine foodie eats undisturbed , which means no food pictures were taken.

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New Haunts in Singapore

I have been sharing some of the awesome new places i've checked out on Instagram. Are you following yet?

The Vault @ 237 South Bridge Road
is the latest bistro bar near Chinatown. Stepping pass the super cool entrance of a heavy vault door like in bank robbery movies, level 1 is the dining area while level 2 is a bar with cool beats. It feels like one of those underground bars in London. You need to be on the guest list to enter, call 6222 5001 to enquire otherwise rock up The Vault ala bank robbery style and pretend your friends 
are already in there. 

Keep your cool.

I thought i was looking at a mirror until my friend pointed out there's no reflection.
TRÈS Cool

Hounds of the Baskerville @ 24 Bali Lane
is like stepping into1904 of Sherlock Holmes. Bespoke tattooing, traditional barber and shaving services are available. They only serve men and you need to make an appointment (6299 1197) for a shave ($25)/ cut ($30). They plan to increase prices from $5-$10 in a couple of months' time.

Dressed in smart vests with slicked hair, it's part of the role-play.
There's even a Caucasian old man who looked awfully like Alfred from Batman.

Table Manners @ Changi City Point
If you live in the East, i would think Tampines Mall is super crowded if you're looking for food. I like Table Manners for its pick-and-choose lunch. For about $15, you get really quality eats.

The Library @ Keong Siak
uses a weekly code name to enter. This can be acquired via word-of-mouth (this concept doesn't stick in Singapore) or simply pop your head next door into Keong Siak Street Snacks and enquire.

Behind the facade of a very narrow book store, a spacious bar with very dim lights and painstakingly concocted alcoholic drinks awaits. It is packed every night by 10pm and you may not get a chance to enter till closing time. It is not a place for hook ups, so bring a date, go early and enjoy the experience. Food from Keong Siak Street Snacks can be ordered inside too. Expect to shell out $20 for a drink though.

The secret door, be transported.

There is ANOTHER secret within the library, other than the bar behind the walls. SMS Madam J for a viewing. I won't spoil the secret ;p

Sorry, it's blur. To make it all the more mysterious.

Keong Siak Street Snacks

serves sophisticated western street food. The fried oysters were pretty good, so is the pulled pork. It's a pretty small dining area as well and it's often filled. Not cheap.

Bar Stories @ Haji Lane
recently renovated, they now sit more than before and they serve food. Cocktails can be custom-made to your taste buds (from $24) with delicate pretty & expensive bar bites to accompany.

Parkview Square
more affectionately known as the Gotham Building to us. Because of it's impressive and intimidating facade, i always thought it is not open to public, otherwise too expensive and you'll need to spend $200 or more. I was wrong and it has a very surreal lounge inside. With a 15m high ceiling, the hand crafted Greek designs took my breath away.

You're in luck if someone orders an expensive bottle of wine. There is a "fairy" who "flies" up the 3 storey wine cellar to retrieve the bottle. The more expensive it is, the higher she "flies" and you can peep up her skirt.

The Japanese tourists
capturing the view from below on their iPads and iPhones

Follow me on Instagram @chrispytine

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www.gudanggrosiran.com Categories: things to do in singapore, uniquely singapore

Things to do in Singapore: Golden Mile

I've always been an advocate for the non-conventional places to go, eat and do. Getting our picture taken against a couldn't-be-more-fake backdrop and shopping for gifts in Little India couldn't be more amusing. This is probably another of those places not mentioned in any traveller's guide like Geylang.

Even I, myself only recently discovered Golden Mile to add to the cheap date ideas list. Golden Mile have always just been a location for me to board the coaches to Malaysia. Only stepping in to visit the loo before departure, i never did think it was a place i would come hang out or eat. The entire building is permeated with smells like salted fish and the floors were grubby. A huge difference from the shiny malls on Orchard Road.

Little did i know that if you want to experience Bangkok, you can do it in Golden Mile without buying an air ticket.

En-route to dinner, i pass by skimpy cladded Thai girls. I can't decide if they are working girls from the bars around or they're Singapore residents missing home.

Reeling in the sights and sounds, i hear noisy Thai chatter and animated Thai songs thumping through the KTV lounges.

My friend introduced me to New Udon Thai Food. There's nothing Japanese about it, but rather it's steamboat plus bbq in one!

Costing $21 per person, it's a novelty to see a concave steamboat. The ones along Bugis Street usually have a bowl sunken in the middle for the soup while the hot plate surrounds it. Food is cooked with electronic gas.

At Golden Mile, New Udon Thai Food is the only one offering steamboat bbq and with the concave middle where you grill food, while soup surrounds like a moat.

Lard is given to put on top, the food is cooked with charcoal beneath.

Not free flow

The ingenious bit is that as the food is cooked on the concave plate, all the juices will drip into the soup adding that extra oomph. You may cook the seafood and meat on the hot plate, and the vermicelli, egg and vegetables in the soup. 

While this may be an unconventional date idea, do note that not every girl will appreciate being taken to a meal filled with smoke that would make her hair and clothes stink.

 Ask for the Thai ice tea!

 Thereafter, take a stroll and check out what Little Thailand has to offer.

Clothes comparable to Bangkok prices. Starts at $15 for a decent dress.

I was thrilled to see Thai massages although my friend doubt they are "clean".

Missing any mobile wires? They have shops selling random stuff.

 I was amused to see "hampers" packed in a pail with goodies and toiletries inside. It costs $35 and i exclaimed a bit too loudly, "Do the Thais give this to each other as gifts?!?"

 I got corrected by the store owner that this is for praying. This "hamper" is presented as gifts to Buddha and not to men. Ignorant me!

The Thais like in Thailand are very friendly and have no problem with you taking photos.

I find the strangest things on sale.

Turning nipples pink, whitening groin areas.

 I try not to make a deduction from the numerous vanity products for naughty bits i found on sale.

Will you dare try these slimming creams?

 If you'd like to get the BBQ Steamboat thing home, you can purchase one from the supermarket on 2nd floor for $30+

But otherwise for a souvenir, you can get Lighter Babe of the Month.

I know of someone who collects Lay's flavours around the world. Here, you can find Thailand's flavour e.g. Sushi, crab, lobster

 Like in Mustafa, i chuckled to myself as i discover strange perfumes.

 Brue Lee's deodorant surprisingly smelled pretty good (i like it) and it was long lasting (my hair still smelled after a shower). For ONLY $3.90, it is MADE IN FRANCE!! Don't play play...

 I love their copy liners. No limitation, No Imitation 0_0

Comes in Be Water, Anger Blinds and Don't Think, Feel.

 HILARIOUS!

 I saw this and it reminds me of the Harajuku Lovers fragrance collection created by pop star Gwen Stefani! It also smelled pretty good except it's only $8.50 and made in China.

Harajuku lovers can be bought in departmental stores, starting from $70+

After strolling around and having a chuckle at what we find, we went back to level 1 for desert!

 As authentic as it can get! It reminds me of the food court in Platinum Mall in Bangkok.

 We settled for red ruby and mango sticky rice (my favourite) for $3+ each.  

Unlike Little India and Chinatown, stipulated by the government and the urban planners that it shall be named as that, i wonder how did Golden Mile come to become "Little Thailand". Like how did Lucky Plaza becomes Manila on Sundays or Peninsula is Mynmmar (next post coming up). Did one villager move to Singapore, set up shop in Golden Mile and started bringing more towner in? I heard that's what the Indians do at banks. Ha ha ha.

Golden Mile, due for an en bloc any time now, where will the Thais move to if it gets demolished?  Better visit now before it disappears.

As the night gets late, i spot more skimpy cladded girls appearing and i saw them taking off their cardigans and leaving them in these lockers unlocked.

Golden Mile, what a colourful sight.

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www.gudanggrosiran.com Categories: date ideas, thailand, things to do in singapore, uniquely singapore

The Chiobu of Singapore

That's me, blurred out.

Awhile back, Priscilla asked me to participate in her project. The below are her words on her project

My vision of CHIOBU is the celebration of the Singaporean Girl. I went to Europe last year and realized many foreigners always mistook me as a Japanese or Chinese girl. When I told them I was from Singapore, some of them gave me a puzzled look and had no idea where Singapore was. True enough that it is difficult to distinguish a Singapore girl between a Japanese or Chinese girl, i thought it would be interesting to make an effort to shoot 15 Singapore girls in Singapore in my own interpretation visually.

Also, there are too many photos of Caucasian models from overseas in Singapore's media, and not enough focus on Singaporean girls. what would be interesting to explore is showcasing Singaporean girls through my artistic craft.

It then dawned upon me and i felt ashamed to say i am secretly elated whenever people say i look Japanese or Korean (although i verify before-surgery Korean or after-surgery Korean). I have always thought the Japanese and the after-surgery Korean is more 'superior' in the looks department. From Priscilla's project, that is not true.

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Purple: Singapore's Transsexual Scene

A survey revealed that most women cite red as their favourite colour while men cite blue. So then PURPLE must be a transgender colour, when red mixes with blue.

Oddly enough, when i was a girl, my favourite colour is purple but now i'm a woman, it is indeed red.

Transsexuals have always been the butt of mockery. The meanest prank a friend played on an irritating nerd (who was nobody's friend really), was to take him to Orchard Towers and pay a transsexual to take him home. It was the nerd's first time at Orchard Towers and thought it was his lucky night to get hooked up! Finding out must be extremely traumatizing.

When we think of transsexuals, our narrow minds think they are definitely in the sex trade. The large amount of social stigma pushes many over the edge, on the verge of suicide and cause misery. If only there is a campaign for acceptance like the Yellow Ribbon, it is difficult for transsexuals to find work they need not be ashamed of. I remember encountering a transsexual sales girl in Body Shop at Wisma. Its the first time i've seen such a hire by a well-known brand and honestly, it increased my liking for the brand. For a brand that advocates no animal testing, i'm happy to know they made an attempt in advocating equal rights too.

On Sunday, i watched PURPLE. A re-run of a sold out production in 1995 and 1998, it's an interactive 4 people performance staged at the new Bugis + (former Illuma).

Purple opens with 3 very loud Ah Lian-ish bordering Auntie bickering about an exhibit that takes center-stage. The entire hall looked like a Cirque Du Soleil, pretty purple and white ribbons draped around. The exhibit is then revealed, an impersonation of Maggi Lai Meiqi, Singapore's first transsexual who made it to Hong Kong's silver screen.

The circus concept suited the theme very well, how transsexuals were seen like animals, aliens or even monsters like the Chinese connotation 人妖

Selena, a Singaporean who resides in London offering services.
Taken from Vixen-escots.com

History lessons bore me but Purple enlightened me about a history i never knew Singapore would have.

We would not have thought Singapore to be famous for something else other than our airport, zoo or econom. We would definitely think of Patpong, Thailand being the capital for transgenders. Little did i know that one of Singapore's most famous tourist meccas from 1950s to 1980s was Bugis Street, where there is a nightly parade of flamboyantly dressed trans women.

These Asian queens in full regalia will tease, cajole and sit on gawking Caucasians laps or pose for photographs for a fee, just like what you'll find in Bangkok.

Veterans recall that the notorious drinking section began at Victoria Street, and proceeded west to Queen Street. Halfway between Victoria and Queen Streets, there was an intersecting lane parallel to the main roads, also lined with al fresco bars. There was a well-patronised public toilet with a flat roof of which there are archival photos, complete with jubilant rooftop trans women - Wikepedia

In the mid-1980s, Bugis Street underwent major urban redevelopment but tourist and local lamentation of the loss sparked attempts by the Singapore Tourist Promotion Board to recreate some of the old sleazy splendour by staging contrived "Ah Qua shows" on wooden platforms that proved to be failures. 

Bugis Street was immortalised in an English-language film of the same name, made, ironically, by a Hong Kong film company which starred Maggi Lai as herself, whom Purple is about as well.

Patpong, Bangkok today.

Based on the actual life story of a Singaporean transgender named Maggie Lai, the script tells the tale of how she survived childhood bullying, her careers as a sex worker, stripper and masseuse.

Shane Mardjuki plays Maggie, coming home, i had to Google how the real Maggie looked like.

She predicted to be dead by her 40s because transgender women don't live very long, but she is alive and well in her 50s and is now a getai singer during Hungry Ghost Festivals.

The only picture i could find was this.

Where in 2010, when the Jack Neo sex scandal was soon to be swept under the carpet, Maggie revealed that Jack Neo used her massage service at the end of 1988, a year after he got married to his wife. He wasn't as famous as he was then, but he was already a household name.

Maggie was wearing a mini-skirt while massaging a naked Jack and when she pressed his "sensitive spot", she asked if he wanted "special service" to which he accepted. He then paid her an additional $50 to have "intimate contact" while having the "special service"

Jack did not know then that Maggie was a "he".

One of the memorable moments of Purple was how they brought to life the whole painful procedure of a gender-reassignment operation. The males in the audience (my friend as well as Bobby Tonelli who coincidentally sat beside us with Joanne Peh) winced, mouth dry and squirmed ALOT. 

There is also a stomach churning Youtube video to be found of the procedure.

Little did i know that Asia's first sex re-assignment surgery was performed in Singapore! The world's first sex-change operation was performed in 1952 by Danish doctors, but Asia's first was in July 1971 at Kandang Kerbau Hospital. 

It was executed by the late Professor S.S. Ratnam who hailed from Ceylon who was quoted

He had been visited by an "attractive female" patient who shocked him by disclosing her true sex and begged him to transform her into a woman. Although hesitant, Prof Ratnam eventually relented. As part of his research, he would spent hours in front of a mirror, naked, looking at his genitals to see how they could be removed with minimal trauma to the rest of the body.

Since then, about 1,000 sex reassignment surgery were performed until 1987 when the authorities stopped it for fear of the exposure to Aids. The objection was lifted in 2001 but by then cities like Bangkok and Seoul had overtaken Singapore as the sex reassignment hub, thus Singapore is no longer known for the surgery that put us in the international limelight.

Late Professor Ratnam

Currently, the National University Hospital still offer such operation and between 2003-2008, 15 reassignments were done for $9,000 to change a male to female and from $15, 000 to change a female to male. Before sex reassignment surgery, transsexuals have to be evaluated by 2 psychiatrists and undergo real-life testing where they live and dress as their target gender.

Unfortunately, the highly educational Youtube video demonstrating a female to male have been removed.

If you wish, you can read about phalloplasty here.

In 2007, a statistical study indicated the male to female in Singapore is 1 in 2,000 and female to male is 1 in 4,000. This means that our little red dot is home to at least 1,500 transsexuals. 

I am surprised to find Singapore having fairly forward thinking and acceptance about transsexualism.  Since the 1970s, Singapore has allowed transsexuals to change their gender on identity cards and to marry since 1997. However, birth certificates will remain the gender at birth and therefore, if someone were to annul a marriage based on same sex marriage (which is not allowed), it will be valid. There is no definitive verdict on the marriage policy, definitely a catch 21.

These laws in favour of transsexuals do not banish discrimination against transsexuals. Like how they were denied entry into China One in 2007.

Art student was asked to leave.

Or in 2005, someone named Javier put up an online petition for SBS Transit to ban transsexuals on buses the way they ban animals.

However, the most important part of Purple, was the conversation between father and son. The acceptance and support of family was reinforced. Home, shouldn't be a song we only sing on National Day.

While my opinion stands at how men should not play God in reassigning sex, transsexuals shouldn't be judged or ridiculed. Their story is one about lifelong suffering, despair, courage and scandal in equal measure.

You may buy tickets to Purple at Sistic or at the door of Jayden Hall (level 7 of Bugis +), show times 3 or 8pm from now till 18 August. It was enlightening with creative ways of delivery. My only lament was the sound system was disappointing.

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www.gudanggrosiran.com Categories: movie review, things to do, uniquely singapore

Animal Encounters at the Wildlife Reserves

As a grown-up Singaporean, the zoo and the bird park is a distant memory. Last weekend, i revisited those memories and was delighted to find new additions and experiences!

Here's another nice date idea to spend the day knowing each other, eating amongst the wildlife. As part of Singapore Food Festival, you can do a food trail at the Singapore Zoo, Jurong Bird Park and Night Safari. Helmed by Executive Chef Kelvin Low, who is professionally trained at Le Cordon Bleu, Chef Low has whipped up exquisite fare for local and international dignitaries, celebrities and loyalty. The most expensive meal he did at the Gourmet Safari Express was $1200 per person, with ingredients flown in from France.

At the Singapore Zoo, you can dine with the wildlife. Now, it's kinda misleading for them to headline the experience as "Dining with Animals". I was expecting to have an Orang Utan sit beside me eating fruit with me. Instead, it really is a family of Orang Utans making a spectacular entrance, taking the 'treeway' from their free-range habitat next door, ambling on a trunk drawbridge into the dining area. You may take as many photos as you want with them, however you are not allowed to interact with them (due to animal protection measures and safety). 

               

The international breakfast buffet was average fare but the hosted programme made me learn more about Orang Utans. 

They are not monkeys but apes and the difference between monkeys and apes are their tails (apes have none). There are no female keepers caring for Orang Utans because they get aggressive if they smell menstruation. I remember a friend telling me he met a girl in a bar who's face was scratched badly. Apparently, she ignored the warning sign to not enter a monkey sanctuary if females are menstruating. A monkey jumped on her and tried to rape her ear.

It was a joy, however to get up close observing these beauties. Their eyes were so full of soul, so much like humans.

                 

The only other wildlife was some kind of snake.

                             

Venue	Timing	Price
Ah Meng Restaurant (Terrace)	9.00am - 10.30am (Daily)	$29.00* (Adult) $19.00* (Child 6 - 12 years old)

For bookings, 

Call (65) 6360 8511 or

Email catering.sales@wrs.com.sg

The Singapore Zoo has many new attractions since the hay days, and i am pleased to find the Fragile Forrest where butterflies flutter around, a special breed of duck whistle and curious about you.

Please do not try this.
She's a professional animal keeper and is able to do this without hurting the butterfly.

This is also the closest i've ever come to a bat and see it's nether regions. It has a acquired smell too.

I'm enlarging it for you, see its balls in full glory.

Mustering the courage to eat it.
Just kidding! This is a stick insect i was observing.

The river cruise was also a new attraction although you don't really see anything on the cruise. The additional $6 for a round trip probably just save you some walking.

At the Jurong Bird Park, it's also $29 for adults for a lunch buffet while watching a parrot show. Again, you may take as many photos as you want with the parrots as part of the fee but do note that sometimes animals can get tired and throw a tantrum. Luckily, the keepers are really nice and friendly so they make sure no diner leaves disappointed.

Unfortunately, out of the 3 wildlife reserve parks, the lunch buffet at Parrot Terrace is the worst.

 However, i throughly enjoyed their new attraction, the Breeding and Research Centre. I've never seen baby parrots before! It looks like the chicken we find in the supermarket.

That's with some feathers.

Dining at the Night Safari, the Ulu Ulu Restaurant was the highlight of my food trail. Designed with traditional ethnic architectural accents like wood beams, rustic rattan fans and ambient lights. 

                     

Expect to find famous local delights, it's like dining in ChatterBox of Mandarin Orchard Hotel where you pay premium price for premium hawker food.

You do not need to pay entrance fee to dine at this restaurant. In fact, it could be something you go for a dinner date because there are free nightly cultural and fire performances. Plus there's a buffalo enclosure near the dining area.

Chicken rice set at $17, the picture above was a sampler thus smaller portion.

A date in Singapore is often a movie and a meal, it's as standard fare as chicken rice. Beat the norm! Do the food trail in the wildlife reserves today.

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www.gudanggrosiran.com Categories: food review, things to do, uniquely singapore, zoo